www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25703725
"So, Mr Mitty, you say you are a spy"
How long?
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Years ago, almost a different life, I was stopped on my motorbike very late at night.
I had no proof of address and because I was living between three addresses had a huge bunch of keys that must have seemed suspicious.
The officers were clearly on edge until I found an ID card in my Belstaff that allowed me access to some quite sensitive locations.
Their attitude changed instantly and I was even offered help getting to my destination. If only they knew I was a young oik on the way home from seeing my girl! :-)
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>> So, Mr Mitty, you say you are a spy?
'Well, since as a member of the constabulary you are bound to some extent by the Official Secrets Act, I can admit to you that I am a spy. But I wouldn't advise your taking this trivial speeding matter any further. Although we are not yet licensed to drive like raving maniacs on the public road as you are, we are licensed to do other things which, taken as a whole, make it very inadvisable for anyone - anyone at all - to inconvenience us in the slightest way.
Do I make myself clear, er, constable is it?'
:o}
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Sun 12 Jan 14 at 18:21
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I'm alright. I've still got my U.N.C.L.E. identity card and invisible ink pen somewhere.
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>> ......... Although we are not
>> yet licensed to drive like raving maniacs on the public road as you are,
"Well Mr Mitty, as you've put it so reasonably, maybe on this occasion we can deal with things as a verbal warning"
;-)
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>> "Well Mr Mitty, as you've put it so reasonably, maybe on this occasion we can
>> deal with things as a verbal warning"
...ten minutes later.
"Dave, have you got my torch"?
"No"
"F*&^%$£. That bloke in the PT Cruiser that thinks he's a spy, has stolen my torch"
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>> bloke in the PT Cruiser that thinks he's a spy, has stolen my torch"
That touches on a very sore point. Small girls aged from 0 to 20 or so constantly filch my torch and leave it in stupid places. Whenever they are around I panic incessantly about the torch's whereabouts. Come to think of it I could do with a spare.
Where did you say you kept your big rubber Met five battery cosh-torch Wp? I used to have one but some carphound nicked it.
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>> Where did you say you kept your big rubber Met five battery cosh-torch Wp?
Hell...those were the days.
Do you know, we were restricted to the 5 cell ones (they made much bigger ones).. because... some officers were allegedly using the torches instead of their truncheons.
I obviously dismissed it as propaganda...;-)
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I'm sure some criminals saw the light.
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>> I'm sure some criminals saw the light.
Which is more than you have managed on the M25......
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The big aluminium ones were better.Speaking of rubber ones,had my car broken into one night(quarter light!!) and my rubber torch(two cell) was taken-however the tealeaf left a better one(three cell)!Police weren't interested for some reason.And before spies( and others)can speed,they must take an "approved" high-speed driving course.
Last edited by: jc2 on Mon 13 Jan 14 at 16:33
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I was sure you'd understand, ah... Inspector.
My card. If there's ever anything that ... ah ... well, I'm sure you get the point. Wet jobs'r'us what? Heh heh....'
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Does that mean that all the oiks doing 95+ on the M25 are actually spies? MI6 needs a bit of pruning, methinks.
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And we can all get off a speeding charge if we are using our vehicles for Ambulance purposes. So there. Ner.
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Only if your car has the taxation class of Ambulance.
Besides, our guidelines are a maximum of 20mph over the posted limit, so we are by far not the fastest thing on a motorway.
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>> And we can all get off a speeding charge if we are using our vehicles
>> for Ambulance purposes. So there. Ner.
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Erm...would that apply to a big black thing that looks like a hearse? ..;-)
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Spies can speed - zippy
