Motoring Discussion > Archie Vicar Miscellaneous
Thread Author: Enoughalready Replies: 16

 Archie Vicar - Enoughalready
Whilst messing about looking into Citroen CX's (see my thread Oh Dear I Have a Problem) I came across a motoring article from 1976 by a motor hack called Archie Vicar. I'd never heard of him but no doubt most of you have, so I went off in search of more of his articles. Other than a few forum results there is really very little but I'd thought I'd share one of his articles here....

Motorist´s Illustrated Digest, Dec 1965

Sporting to a "T"
Archie Vicar drives to Sicily in the new motor carriage from Crewe.
Photos by Douglas Land-Windermere
The Bentley marque conjours images of the driver Richard "Dick" Seaman charging along the Mulsanne Straight at a hundred miles per hour. That he achieved this very respectable pace minus a tyre is a tribute to his Bentley and to his boundless idiocy. Great chap. He is very much missed in motoring circles. For a while Bentley´s sporting character has been as absent and as lamented as Mr Seaman. The last batches of Bentleys have, to be rather frank, been a little hard to distinguish from their Rolls-Royce stablemates.

The glad tidings are that there now comes a new Bentley, the T-type, which might re-establish Bentley´s athletic credentials. To quote the elegantly handwritten letter from Bentley´s public relations fellow: "The new Bentley T is truly a motor-carriage for the man who likes to conduct his own vehicle and for whom sporting performance is a matter of great interest. The T-type saloon offers peerless acceleration, superb roadholding and ride-quality of the highest standard, coupled with comfortable, supportive seating for the most spirited motoring." Was this true? Upon receipt of this letter we telephoned Bentley to make an appointment to ask if we could gain access to one of their motor cars.

Bentley very kindly offered us a T-type, (finished in Sepulchre Blue over black, only 1200 miles and as new, one of the finest we´ve seen) to take for a little spin to see how sporting the T really is.

We booked the Bentley onto the Silver City flight to le Touquet, feeling that a morbidly blue Bentley probably ought not to mix with the plebeian motorists found on the Townshend Thoresen steam ferry. Furthermore, Mr Land-Windermere is prone to sea sickness and it would have been not a little unpleasant to besmirch the Bentley´s leather upholstery. Off we flew and within a trice the Bentley was purring along on the worst of French roads as if gliding on melted butter. We were able to appreciate the smooth power of the 6,230 cc 8-cylinder engine and could casually dismiss the flocks of white Renaults and Peugeots that, to this day, infest much of France.

The self-levelling independent suspension has made a dramatic difference to the Bentley´s ride when compared with the old S3. It absorbed the bumps and undulations of the French road network and gave me great confidence in pressing on to our lunch in Rennes. The three-speed torque converter transmission struck me as a flexible and robust device, managing shifts at a second´s notice. When it came to decelarating, for example when I saw a good place for a spot of liquid refreshment, the triple-circuit hydraulic servo brakes quickly brought the Bentley to heel. The monococque chassis is another characteristic of the modern sporting saloon. Just such a thing is to be found somewhere behind the leather and wood that covers every available square inch of the Bentley´s interior. Despite the Bentley´s sporting appearance (the low bonnet line and unique Bentley grille help) the car still has many luxuries such as a standard radio, electrically adjustable chairs and air-conditioning. We appreciated this useful feature in the warm weather that prevailed during the test.

Taking the car south to Bordeaux (collecting some fines wines) , we then motored via the Perigord across the Massif Central, intent on driving the Bentley to the home of sporting motoring, Sicily, where the Targa Florio takes place annually. The T1 covered the ground (Puy, Montelimar, St Raphael, Monaco, the Italian Riviera, Rome) without demur. For most of the time Mr Land-Windermere was able to sleep entirely undisturbed on the ample rear-seats. I can think of no greater compliment to a car´s suspension.

We stopped in Monaco after 18 hours at the wheel, during which I paused only to refill the car´s splendid 24 gallon fuel tank every 288 miles (equating to approximately four-hour intervals). We averaged 65 m.p.h., proving the Bentley really can show other sports cars how it can be done. Where conditions allowed, the Bentley had no difficulty sustaining a comfortable hundred miles per hour. 120 miles per hour is the maximum speed. Is that sporting enough? Well, speed is not everything. Whilst a Ferrari or one of Mr Lamborghini´s fragile new confections may be able to reach far higher outright speeds, the idea of crossing Europe in a roasting-oven on wheels defies contemplation.

The Bentley is powered by an overhead valve motor. Cleaving to Crewe´s traditions, the output is not specified. Two SU carbs help out and, if one is critical, the 9 to 1 compression ratio seems a little behind the times. A 12 volt electrical system keeps the lights glowing. I mention these details for the sake of completeness. It would appear the time is upon us that some motorists are quite uninterested in the mechanical attributes of their machines.

Despite the distance travelled it was not until reaching Sicily that I was fully certain that the conditions were right to really challenge the Bentley´s performance and handling qualities. This, I felt, would be the true test. So, pushing the accelerator with as much vim and vigour as only a Malvern man can, I set out to explore Bentley´s reserves of grip, braking and acceleration. With a map of the Targa Florio pinned to the walnut dash, I charged off and worked hard to keep the T on the boil.

Not having the time to do a proper recce, I had to use all available clues to read the road. The dangerous corners seemed to be the ones where the people gathered to watch the cars. They don´t have so much else do down in Sicily, it seems. Near San Giussepi, a pasta vendor cycled right out in front of me, oblivious to his surroundings. The Bentley slid rather gracefully around him as I locked the brakes completely. With a bit of opposite lockery, we were safely around a corner and Land-Windermere drifted back to the land of nod. Over the course of the route, I noticed that if by-standers were not looking at me, I probably wasn´t going fast enough. If they started scattering, I was probably overdoing it. Out of respect for Bentley´s property, I did try to ease off occasionally.

I nearly had a bit of a prang on the second lap, but managed to avoid doing more than knocking off a silly bit of chrome trim and the last hub-cap. We also broke two bottles of a fine Petrus. At about ten miles into the route I suspected the plugs were a bit oiled as the Bentley was firing uncertainly. Then they must have cleared as there was an almighty surge of urge from the motor and I found myself pointing at a rock face before a hair-pin bend with more power than with which I knew what to do. Luckily, a length of stout guardrail kept us on track and I was able to slide the car along it, shaving off speed hastily. We left the rear bumper behind us, clattering across the road. Land-Windermere got out shortly after – for a little exercise, perhaps. To do so he had to climb out of the window because the doors had sustained some damage when the car met the ironwork. The lesson learned here was the turn-in and steering quality were as one would of expect of car with a more sporting role in life but which also aspires to great comfort.

There fell much rain the night before so I was thankful for Bentley´s grippy standard tyre. Prodigious quantities of mud were sprayed all over the car´s body work by lunch time (usefully obscuring much of the damage). I ran across a bit of a muddy stretch and felt the car wander. On one side stood some loafing farmers who I didn´t really want to alarm so I had no choice but to let the Bentley´s masses find the line of most resistance, which in this instance, lay sideways in the direction of a heap of soft earth left standing about. There was a bit of a dull thud and the side windows went black while soil ploughed up to the roof. No harm done, however, and with a bit of revving the Bentley pulled itself free and off I went. The rear window remained clogged with soil and dirt but the air-conditioning meant I didn´t need to open it anyway.

While I would say the suspension was more than comfortable enough for most, the drawback was that, under very specific conditions, the car could bottom-out. Then the sump would occasionally make contact with the tarmacadam. I can report that the Bentley can take large doses of this kind of abrasion. It was a humpback bridge that led to the sump´s final undoing. We left oil all over the road and had to make an emergency stop at a blacksmith who kindly offered to affect a repair. We stopped for the night in Pelegrino where some urchins stole the Bentley badges and a curious passer-by broke the offside quarter light and removed the radio. The mortadella was excellent and I stocked up on some panoforte.

I carried on around the Targa Florio for the remainder of the second day, and the only reason I had to stop was that I had drained several of the smaller petrol stations in the area. Over the 3200 miles of the tour the Bentley consumed 290 gallons of four star and I consumed 240 cigarettes. The ashtray needed emptying just twice a day, which is very, very creditable indeed. This speaks volumes of the attention to detail Bentley have paid in making this a truly peerless sporting saloon.

Concluding remarks
I can conclude that having been declared to be a high performance motor, the T lives up to its billing. Otherwise we would not have attempted to ask of it tasks its sedate and bloated Rolls-Royce stablemate could never have managed. Thus, when Bentley inquired how the car returned with so many dents, scratches and bits of missing trim, they could not affect surprise when I replied "Well, we drove it in a spirited fashion. It´s not a Rolls-Royce, is it?"

A lambswool passenger rug (in matching colours) will be available to order.
 Archie Vicar - Runfer D'Hills
Delightful !
 Archie Vicar - Enoughalready
Apparently, after this he was banned from testing future Bentleys until his newspaper covered the insurance and it set a precedent.
 Archie Vicar - Boxsterboy
Yes, I am not surprised.

One rarely encounters that style of prose in modern automotive journals.
 Archie Vicar - Armel Coussine
It's funny but a bit shocking. I was quite like that once, but with my own cars mostly.

It's a roundabout and cruel way of saying the T Series was comfortable, powerful, well-insulated and fortunately big and strong, since it handled like a wallowing American pig on corners, banged its sump on the road and couldn't claim to be a sports car at all.

Naturally Rolls-Royce took it in their stride. Anything else would have made them look silly.
 Archie Vicar - No FM2R
I am as impressed by him as I am when anybody else wrecks something they've been lent in good faith.

What a tit.
 Archie Vicar - swiss tony
>> I am as impressed by him as I am when anybody else wrecks something they've
>> been lent in good faith.
>>
>> What a tit.
>>

Was he Clarksons dad?
 Archie Vicar - No FM2R
He may well have been and I considered the comparison.

I suspect, however, that the car companies are quite well aware of what TG is going to do and have previously agreed to it, which didn't seem the case here.
 Archie Vicar - TheManWithNoName
'Dick' Seaman? snigger.

They don't give 'em names like that anymore.
 Archie Vicar - Armel Coussine
>> the car companies are quite well aware of what TG is going to do and have previously agreed to it, which didn't seem the case here.

The car companies can afford it anyway. It can be a bit different for the owners of precious, near-unique old jalopies though. I seem to remember a story about someone's C Type Jaguar getting its halfshafts twisted owing to TG's schoolboy addiction to wheelspin in clouds of tyre smoke.

It occurs to me that the OP piece could well involve a bit of 'writing' and that the car wasn't as battered as Vicar makes it sound after the test. I've only once been given a car to test, and although I caned it, having been urged to do so, I didn't mark or damage it in any way.
 Archie Vicar - Armel Coussine

>> It occurs to me that the OP piece could well involve a bit of 'writing'

In fact the more I think about it the more likely this seems. What motoring hack would remark snidely in passing that the Bentley's engine has 'overhead valves' without mentioning its size and layout (was the RR V8 an aluminium copy of the Chrysler 6.2 litre 'Hemi'? I can't really remember...)?
 Archie Vicar - Cliff Pope

>>
>> One rarely encounters that style of prose in modern automotive journals.
>>

Like "electrically adjustable chairs".
 Archie Vicar - TheManWithNoName
On the subject of old motoring reviews, can anyone find a link to the first ever review of a car?

 Archie Vicar - Crankcase
news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2206&dat=19090105&id=NxxVAAAAIBAJ&sjid=fj0NAAAAIBAJ&pg=4346,157561

Jan 5th 1909, more an ad than a review, but any advance?

I'm intrigued by the bicycle ad next to it, where they apparently issue votes in the piano contest. Whatever was that all about?
 Archie Vicar and Driven To Write - richard h
Hello:
There are more Archie Vicar reviews here:

driventowrite.com/category/the-archie-vicar-archive/

The overarching website is www.driventowrite.com which I write along with a few others. It´s not a forum so anyone looking to get spare parts for the 1993 Vauxhall Omega will find nothing of any use. It´s also not especially chatty though we welcome comments, preferably long and wordy ones that have been spell checked and fact checked and run by the lawyers too. I´ve been dropping by various forums to say hi and let people know about the site. This has left me feeling slightly uneasy as I feel like I am merely writing some very elaborate spam.
What have I found out? A lot of forums, especially the marque specific ones, are not very lively. I am a member of one, the XM Forum UK, which actually is quite lively. The Irish Lancia site and the American Lancia sites are deserted. There are forums for car designers but the ones I found are full of spam messages. I think Linked-In might have killed them. The Canadian Alfa Romeo bulletin board is lively enough. And I was at pistonheads recently and they were quite welcoming.

I am glad some of you liked the Archie Vicar item. I have felt for a long time that modern car magazines are a bit disappointing. The writers seem to only know cars whereas the pipe-smoking, tweed jacket chaps of the 60s and 70s seemed to have a lot of general knowledge. The reviews were more interesting and readable. I find Car magazine pretty indigistible and Top Clarkson - which has some good content- is ruined by the busy graphics. It´s a s***-storm of boxes, straps, coloured blocks and somewhere in all that there are articles cut into 200 word chunks. Or listicles. Instead of writing 1800 words on the new Jaguar you get "10 Things that make the new Jag important" and each box is numbered and given a picture. Christ.

Right, off I go. Feel free to pop by.

Richard at
www.driventowrite.com

 Archie Vicar and Driven To Write - richard h
Hi: the latest item is this: driventowrite.com/2014/11/07/1968-saab-99-review/
It´s a review of the Saab 99. Unusually for Archie Vicar, it´s quite a positive review.



Richard
 Archie Vicar and Driven To Write - Zero
>> This has left me feeling slightly uneasy as I feel like
>> I am merely writing some very elaborate spam.

Elaborate spam? Isn't that Pancetta?

I always though there should be a car called the pancetta.
Last edited by: Zero on Mon 10 Nov 14 at 22:39
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