Ok here is a quiz, one point for each yes answer, please provide your total score.
In the last year have you:
1/ Driven fast enough round a bend/roundabout to make the tyres squeel
2/ Accelerated so briskly the driven wheels scrabbled for grip.
3/ Exceeded or matched an indicated 100mph
4/ caused the ABS to kick in.
5/ Played the radio so loud the a: door mirrors or b:rear view mirror vibrated to the beat.
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1/ No, I always drive so that I can stop in the distance I can see.
2/ No, what's the point?
3/ No.
4/ No, poor anticipation / planning.
5/ No, I am too old to be a chav.
Last edited by: Old Navy on Wed 21 Jul 10 at 19:48
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I did two when I first started driving my dad Fiesta. Not done any others though. I got upto an indicated 70 once if that counts :p.
Never listen to lound music when driving as I like to be people to hear bikes and sirens, I can hear quicker than I can see them in the mirrors :).
I have only ever owned one vehicle which could do over 100mph, m old Corsa.
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Ponce ponce ON.
Four for me. But those who would expect a ham-footed, car-trashing idiot would be sadly disappointed.
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Four. Well...maybe four and a half. My mirrors are quite well attached. Although one could imagine having the wireless on a bit loud might upset the equilibrium of a budget model....
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>> Ponce ponce ON.
>>
Not my fault that you consider yourself to be, and admit to being an inferior driver.
Last edited by: Old Navy on Wed 21 Jul 10 at 19:58
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No, it's not your fault I admit to four of those things, but it is your fault that you imagine your own avoidance of all five of them makes you a superior driver. That's what 'ponce ponce' meant.
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I have had more than enough excitement in my life to need more on the public roads.
I did not say that I am a superior driver, thats your assumption.
Last edited by: Old Navy on Wed 21 Jul 10 at 20:08
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Who said anything about excitement? A tyre chirp, a few miles over... it's just part of the sound track isn't it?
Excitement indeed... mumble mumble....
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>> Excitement indeed... mumble mumble....
>>
:)))))))
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>> did not say that I am a superior driver, thats your assumption.
You seemed to be thinking it though ON... Perhaps you weren't though. Perhaps you really feel, as I do, that... oh, never mind.
I might have remarked though that slippery bits of road can crop up unexpectedly at any time, and ABS, which I don't like much, can seem surprisingly oversensitive.
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I deliberatley test my ABS on wet cobbles, just to make sure it is working. My car has Electronic Skid Control, I don't know if it works, I haven't provoked it.
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Five points.
Where do I collect my prize?
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>>
>> 1/ Driven fast enough round a bend/roundabout to make the tyres squeel
oh yes but my tyres squeal
>> 2/ Accelerated so briskly the driven wheels scrabbled for grip.
yes but I had to switch the traction control off and it was only to scare some ponies
>> 3/ Exceeded or matched an indicated 100mph
might have done ....
>> 4/ caused the ABS to kick in.
see above
>> 5/ Played the radio so loud the a: door mirrors or b:rear view mirror vibrated
>> to the beat.
no; I've tried to see the point in music many times but failed
The anomaly is; I don't see myself as a hooligan.
I claim 4 points and my prize is ... what ?
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Nil point,
but then I did manage the ton down the ole A30 2 weeks a'back,
oh and I did manage to make the tyres squeel, or squeal even t'other day coming out of a junction,
so woss that, 1 + 1 = eh ... 3.
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4/5. I only have the standard wireless.
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Only 4 from 5 since some scroat nicked my beesting aerial the other week rendering the radio reception fairly crap :>(
As always
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2 Points
4 and 5
4, when it snowed last winter, in the work car park when there was no-one around i braked ahem, a bit to hard and made the abs kick in
5, when im driving round town to impress the ladies ;-) only joking but i have had it loud enough to vibrate the rear view mirror.
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Do I get bonus points for power sliding a Transit on the snow covered Tesco carpark?
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2....
3 & 4, - 3 on a German Autobahn and 4 on a manhole cover in the middle of the road on the way into work... so probably Nil really... just like ON!
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Like mikeyb I claim 5 points in my C5. Humph... buzzing door mirrors more a demo of the standard sub in our cars than poor build!
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Just like the thread author, Zero.
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4 points. Don't think I've ever triggered the ABS - the Octy is the 1st car with it that I have ever owned, mind you.
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Only 2 and 3.
2 in the snow and ice.
3 On the bike....and then abroad.
Chopin don't sound good on a boombox.
Don't have ABS on mine and don't drive the other as much.
Ted
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I'll admit only to the vibrating glass and the occasional very low-speed ABS judder last winter. The Volvo audio system doesn't have a sub, but then it doesn't need one, having two hefty speakers set into a solid rear shelf with a big boot below. The percussive intro to Steve Earle's Amerika v6.0 first made me notice the effect, but then that was new the year I got the car (2002). I've found plenty more to provoke it since - but only when I'm somewhere well away from civilization - like Basingstoke.
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Sorry upgrade me to a 5, just remembered that when Time or Money comes on, I have a tendency to turn up the volume to mirror shaking levels!!
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Tricky one this - say none and you appear slightly smug and holier than thou, say 5 and it puts you in the macho, boastful driver camp. Either way you are condemned by those with opposite views.
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" ...say none and you appear slightly smug and holier than thou, say 5 and it puts you in the macho, boastful driver camp....."
I might have to grow old but don't have to grow up :-)
Bit of ZZ Top - Pump up the volume!
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>> 1/ Driven fast enough round a bend/roundabout to make the tyres squeel
I have certainly lost "rubber" from my tyres on roundabouts - a "dry squeal", if you like. The van's wheels squeal on any sharp bend, so I suppose the answer is really "yes". Hm.
>> 2/ Accelerated so briskly the driven wheels scrabbled for grip.
Yes.
>> 3/ Exceeded or matched an indicated 100mph
Yes.
>> 4/ caused the ABS to kick in.
Yes, but in the snow. It's better with it disabled in these circumstances.
>> 5/ Played the radio so loud the a: door mirrors or b:rear view mirror vibrated
No. I do not have the radidio or similar on when driving.
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6) OK, what about a handbrake turn, then.
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Just remembered coming home one night late from the office, in the Disco we had then, it was one of the ones with ARC etc. etc. on a roundabout with anti skid surfacing in the dry, I nearly very nearly felt it let go, I was going some - in fairness the old beast gave plenty of feedback and I backed off the throttle - one of life's "learning" moments...
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6) OK, what about a handbrake turn, then
Still a full house :-)
Last edited by: Fullchat on Wed 21 Jul 10 at 23:27
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Yep - but only on ice....
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On ice as well, but involuntary and without recourse to the handbrake or steering wheel !
Also on the bike on black ice.........only creeping along though.
Had no control over my destiny on either occasion !
Ted
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>> In the last year have you:
1/ Driven fast enough round a bend/roundabout to make the tyres squeal
I can't seem to get them to do that these days, it's due to either a change in modern tyre compounds or a smoother but still brisk driving style. I do try though.
2/ Accelerated so briskly the driven wheels scrabbled for grip.
The occasional chirrup, always deliberate and measured.
3/ Exceeded or matched an indicated 100mph
Yes, but not as often as I used to. Still haven't found the top speed of my old shed, keep running out of road or encountering traffic at 120+.
4/ caused the ABS to kick in.
Not had ABS these last two years. Locked all 4 wheels briefly the other Sunday when passing a group of country walkers at 15mph and one of them dropped a dog's lead at precisely the wrong moment.
5/ Played the radio so loud the a: door mirrors or b:rear view mirror vibrated to the beat.
Radio has a "clip" function, therefore won't go loud enough to distort, let alone vibrate mirrors.
So, 3/5 for me. If you'd have asked me this in about 1992 I'd have got 5 points (fitment of ABS notwithstanding) almost every day.
I've had stereos loud enough to make other drivers' mirrors vibrate before ;-)
Last edited by: Dave_TD {P} on Wed 21 Jul 10 at 23:49
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Im afraid I score zero.
Ten years ago id have got all 5. 11 years ago I took a Granada Cosworth to its maximum on the M23 coming outta Croydon - once you have done that, no need to repeat :-)
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Yes to all, and probably a few more that aren't on your list too.
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One can't help noticing the OP is being a bit coy about his own hooning exploits... is he going to trump us all with fifty-yard wheelspin lines, smoke clouds and so on, all with a boot woofer shaking plaster off the houses, I wonder?
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>> is he going to trump us all with fifty-yard wheelspin lines, smoke clouds and
>> so on,
He must have changed his retirement vehicle then ...
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Never to any of them, unless you count spinning a tractor wheel in mud. But then I'm a wimp (or is it whimp?)
What's ABS - must be after my time ? :)
But try these questions:
Have you ever:
1) turned someone's door mirror inwards because they were parked with it sticking out over the pavement?
2) stuck a rude sticker on someone's windscreen questioning their need to occupy 2 parking spaces?
3) deliberately driven over the muddly or gravelly bits in order to shower the tailgater behind?
4) moved a private traffic cone so that you could park on a bit of road someone was trying to reserve?
5) secretly hoped that your neighbour's dog will try its habit of darting across in front just once too often?
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>> 1) turned someone's door mirror inwards because they were parked with it sticking
>> out over the pavement?
No. I have sometimes thought about turning cars parked on the pavement over, though, on the way back from the pub with friends. Only done it once, over 20 years ago. You need five people.
>> 2) stuck a rude sticker on someone's windscreen questioning their need to occupy 2
>> parking spaces?
Good idea. Too much trouble, though.
>> 3) deliberately driven over the muddly or gravelly bits in order to shower the tailgater
>> behind?
Oh yes. It works very well.
>> 4) moved a private traffic cone so that you could park on a bit of
>> road someone was trying to reserve?
Yes, in car parks. I have also used this technique where it was very busy at a place of work.
>> 5) secretly hoped that your neighbour's dog will try its habit of darting across in
>> front just once too often?
No.
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Yes to 1, 2 and 4... never thought of 3 before... must try it sometime...
Re 5 - None of our local pets seem so suicidal!
Do we count as the "Grumpy old sods", then?
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Well I am gratified by the level of hoonery displayed by those here, it would seem that most still have a grasp on their more youthfull driving habits, and of course there are one or two girly swots or OG's. Dont forget to bring your tartan rug for your knees next week OM.
Poor Humph, I am astonished the radiogram in your pram is not man enough to shake your gas latern in the squashcow.
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I think next week will be a great meating of minds :)
I shall be working hard but will drop in my twopennorth (uninvited), of course!
Pat
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Ere!!! How abowt jumping red lights (only for decoration in Cornwall) and driving over mini roundabouts,
Surely I deserve a few points (on my licence) for that?
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>> Well I am gratified by the level of hoonery displayed by those here>>
You don't have to drive like a teenage hooligan to make rapid unobtrusive progress.
Are you volunteering to be the referee Pat ? Or are you going to agitate ?
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I'll agitate..........if IIH agrees to come:)
Pat
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>> Yes to all, and probably a few more that aren't on your list too.
>>
What he said. All apart from getting the ABS to cut in were done on deserted, dry roads well outside any built-up area, and with just me in the car.
Although the ABS one - as with other people - only happened in the snow.
Remarkably po-faced comments from one or two folk here. Lighten up, for goodness' sake. There are worse forms of highway behaviour than over-enthusiasm. Brake-testing is one such.
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1) tyres too good to squeal apart from on supermarket carparks where they do all the time
2) 4wd so never have that problem
3) would be too worried about bits falling off...
4) no abs. Only ever activated abs on another car in the snow
5) no stereo in car
0
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>> 1/ Driven fast enough round a bend/roundabout to make the tyres squeel
On concrete surfaces yes, can't say they complain on tarmac - I've made the back end step out on roundabouts though (RWD, 245PS, 389lbft helps)
>> 2/ Accelerated so briskly the driven wheels scrabbled for grip.
Yes, to my surprise, the ESP has an LSD function in it, have to really try quite hard though - BMW nannying me I guess
>> 3/ Exceeded or matched an indicated 100mph
Not in the UK ;-)
>> 4/ caused the ABS to kick in.
Oh yes
>> 5/ Played the radio so loud the a: door mirrors or b:rear view mirror vibrated
>> to the beat.
hmm, no, I value my hearing and the mirrors are quite firmly fixed.....
>>
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Oh dear....only 35 and I only score 1 point - and that's on ABS, becuase we a) had rather a lot of snow this winter here in Scotland and b) someone pulled out in front of me and I missed him by only a couple of inches.
I find it's difficult to get the mirrors to vibrate with the dulcet tones of the Today program....
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>>>I find it's difficult to get the mirrors to vibrate with the dulcet tones of the Today program....
If my daughter becomes a chemist is that what she has to look forward to Richard?
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3/ Exceeded or matched an indicated 100mph
Yes
4/ caused the ABS to kick in.
Yes but on snow only!
So, 1.5 points for me.
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My ABS kicks in quite often - there is a set of lights in my town with broken up tarmac as you approach and if you brake whilst crossing this part, can quite often feel the ABS.
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Yeah, its the old split surface scenario.
There is a corner near me I take at some pace. The ideal line in, and on the braking point, the nearside is over a drain cover and broken road. The ABS chatters a little there.
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7) Performed a Y or J turn or even both? An extra point or even double.
Still a full house :-]
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best thrill i ever had was going over a hump back bridge at a silly speed and clinging on for dear life when i reattached to terra firma
my buttocks have never been the same again :-(
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>> 7) Performed a Y or J turn or even both? An extra point or even
>> double.
>>
>> Still a full house :-]
Oii I am paying for that vehicle, behave or the tyres come out of your salary.
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I am afraid I can only claim one point , speeds in excess of 100 mph have been known on motorways and dual carriageways in the last year( on occasion) but usually only for a few seconds when overtaking . I can easily achive 80 mph in fourth and need to give fifth and sixth gear a work out now and again.
The tyres are too good to squeal them around roundabouts and traction control prevents any scrabble for grip but that does not mean to say that I drive slowly.I take pride in my driving and always make smooth but fast progress where possible .That means without SWMBO complaining .
The ABS has not kicked in despite extensive snow this year because I drive at the correct speed for the conditions .
As to loud music - I like the radio on but not at the cost of burst eardrums
Last edited by: retpocileh on Fri 23 Jul 10 at 11:27
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4 points. I feel so shallow.
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Pug - I've just been trawling through this and saw your post. You should have pushed on with the Disco. Beautifully benign handling to be found. I had a 'scare the passenger' trick on a large roundabout in the wet - go in too fast in 3rd (the old V8 petrol) intending to turn right. Wash out with huge understeer whilst staying on the throttle. Lift off and fully on again in just enough time to lose the understeer, get the wheels spinning, touch of opposite lock to exit in a delicious 4 wheel drift. No, I don't drive like this now, but loved those Discos.
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Woodster, I don't know if you are familiar with the road over Sutra hill from Scotland into NE England ? Anyway, it's a bit of a twisty hilly stretch.....Well, when Discos were first on the scene my boss had one. We lived in Edinburgh and he loaned it to me for a fortnight while he went on holiday on the condition that I taxied him and his family in it to and from Newcastle airport.
After a couple of weeks I had sort of got the hang of the car and the time came to drive to Newcastle to fetch them. By this time I'd managed to figure out something similar to your description. Coming down off Sutra I set it up for one of the tight downhill sweepers and tried to slither it round.....unfortunately the darn thing gripped that time and went up on two wheels. It did eventually right itself without contacting anything solid but had collected an awful lot of mud from the ditch in the process.
It's not easy finding an open car wash or a retailer of underpants at 4.00 on a Sunday morning in Northumberland.........
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No cornering squeal and certainly no nonsense with the stereo but I've done 100 in the Xantia, had ABS kick in in both cars (ignoring snow; just damp and/or broken surfaces) and even the 70PS diesel Berlingo can scrabble it's front tyres on a rapid take off.
Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Sat 24 Jul 10 at 22:35
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I can only imagine Humph! perhaps I was just lucky not to have had a similar moment but I nearly turned one over at about 1 mph trying to traverse a gulley. that was a half a crown sixpence moment. I can well imagine it would've been a clean pants incident at speed!
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I didn't get to drive it, but did some miles in a friend's V6 diesel one. It was silent and cruised at 100 no problem. Once outside Dublin he floored it on a slippery hill and got it to do some awkward wheelspin stuff, not so good really in view of the alleged trick transmission.
Later the turbo went, too early really at 20,000 miles. I said he should have simmered it down after motorway blasts but he blamed a toerag he had lent it to. Anyway it was under warranty. Last I heard the new one was all right.
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>> he blamed a toerag he had lent it to.
Whistles innocently.........
:-)
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And I never wound the mechanics at our garages up. Called to check the progress of a repair once and got the well known stroppy mechanic that took it all personally (never could understand that, it kept him employed). He moaned about the ton of dried mud underneath: 'That's funny' says I, 'They never go off road y'know' . Put the phone down and I could hear the tirade from the other side of the room...
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Guilty to 3 (while overtaking).
The only time my tyres scrabble for grip is on loose grit when pulling away, why would I want it any different?
The ABS on both cars is well designed, so I'm not aware of its existence. Well, the light goes out anyway...
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1/ yup
2/ yup
3/ er... 145mph on the autobahn chasing a 430 scud in an Octavia vRS
4/ yeah, when above 430 slammed on... very nearly an expensive trip
5/ not for a long time...
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The hooligan in you. - -
