Satnav - A new poem by Pam Ayres
I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car.
A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, i've had it all my life.
It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive "It's sixty miles an hour", it says,
"You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green It seems to know
instinctively, just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear.
And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device.
For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught.
So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed.
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff, I only wish that now
and then, I could turn the bu&&er off.
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Except it's not new, and I'm fairly sure she didn't write it either. A quick search gave me a posting on a forum from 2012, but I've no idea if that was the first.
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You are right SP. Pam Ayres confirms she she did not write it.
mobile.twitter.com/PamAyres/status/448440403231248385
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Goodness me, Roger posting misrepresented content, that's a shocker.
Last edited by: No FM2R on Thu 23 Jun 16 at 11:54
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Here is one by Benjamin Zephaniah ...
I as satnav
I mashed it up
White devil made it
Turn Right
Black devil crushed it
Reverse round da corner
Be happy
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Pam Ayres confirms she she did not write it.
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No, it's better than Pam Ayres. I cringed when the children wanted to listen to her awful teeth recitation.
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For some reason i always feel the need to respond "turning right Hyacinth" or whatever is applicable.
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Sat Nav. - Slidingpillar
