Dropped through my letter box this morning. Crystal Clear Picture of the Zero Lancer (what a fine looking beast) cutting up a bus to go enter a bus lane, scene of crime - Clapham Park Road.
In my defence, it was a confusing junction, and an area I don't travel much.
60 quid - Expensive day out
Mutter.
If there is enough clammer I will post up the picture. If you are going to do the crime do it in a spectacular manner.
Chortles, laughs and guffaws acceptable.
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Your story has touched my heart. Consider your £5 debt written off.
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Let's have the picture. Not many of us know what a Lancer estate looks like.
Last edited by: Alanović on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 13:11
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Not as harsh as my £30 speeding fine in 1974.
Edit: And I've been referred to as a mimser!
Last edited by: Clk Sec on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 13:22
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How incredibly annoying for you Zero.
The last one of those I got had no photo, so I ignored it. So far so good.
Bus lanes in London are a goddam menace. Their main function is to reduce the amount of road available for traffic. Where (as in Hammersmith Road) the hours during which they apply are in fact quite sensible, they are still a menace because motorists don't realise that for much of the time they can use the bus lane. But in a lot of places they apply all the time, or nearly.
Obviously you really carved a bus up and forced it to brake sharply making the passengers fall over and starting a wave of lawsuits. Well done. But the practice of sending nips to people who have clipped a bus lane to get past some waddling prat who can't turn right in a small car without blocking half the road is unconscionable and needs to be suppressed.
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From what I read - mostly on here - of driving in London I would be in for a big shock if I tried it today.
I used to hare around - particularly late at night - in the late 80s/early 90s with little thought for speed cameras, let alone cameras that take your picture crossing a white line.
OK, I tried to steer clear of bus lanes, but would often carve into the last 20 or 30 yards to get to front of the queue at the lights.
Seems to me these days you could pick up enough penalty points in a morning for a totting up ban.
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A whole morning iffski? You could do it in five minutes.
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Post the picture. Consider it as part of the punishment. I'd have posted mine if I had been zapped a couple of weeks ago. Very nice of the North Wales Police van operator to let me whizz through at an indicated 34mph.
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My Sis in law was done for stopping with one wheel on the edge of a yellow box, photo provided. And she lives in the dump and knows the system.
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Damned things, bad luck dear fellow.
Be nice to see the Lancer anyway, would know which model to avoid then seeing as you neglect your oil changes..;)
Only surprised i haven't had one yet (still time), i never know whether to go up Muswell Hill in or out of the bus lane, it's supposed to be for buses and HGV's, mine's a bit over 7.5t, and i really can't be bothered to look the sign up.
With all the sign paraphernalia about it's almost impossible to keep track of the small print...interferes with important road observation and leching.
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>> Be nice to see the Lancer anyway, would know which model to avoid then seeing
>> as you neglect your oil changes..;)
Its a deliberate maintenance schedule adjustment, based on actual oil quality checking to meet my usage patterns.
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based on actual oil quality checking to meet my
>> usage patterns.
That's interesting, what did the oil analysis cost if you don't mind?, handy to have another source.
Millers did mine buck shee (special circs i imagine) just prior to going in for injector replacement, interesting comments from them too.
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>> based on actual oil quality checking to meet my
>> >> usage patterns.
>>
>> That's interesting, what did the oil analysis cost if you don't mind?, handy to have
>> another source.
Cost me nothing. at 9k i dropped a bit on a piece of white printer paper to see what dispersal it was carrying and the colour, and I smelt it, and I rubbed it in my fingers to check viscosity, and I passed it fit for another 3k miles.
In truth it says change it every 9k with mineral, so I figure every 12 k with semi synth will do.
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>> Cost me nothing. at 9k i dropped a bit on a piece of white printer
>>
Ye gods, i refer the honourable member for Surrey to my previous post.
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Gb mentions the 'small print'. In fact the notices giving bus lane operating times are often quite small and obscure, perhaps difficult to read while on the move.
Some system of lights placed at intervals along the bus lane wouldn't cost the earth and would probably ease traffic flow. You know, red light= buses only, green light=free for all. Perhaps two other colours would be better. Don't want confusion with traffic lights.
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 13:56
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Here you go, bit grainy because its a scan from a print and blown up with photoshop
i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt148/know_wun/buslane.jpg
and before you say it - the lancer is the smaller one.
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This guy got his ticket rescinded.
coletti.co.uk/?p=1089
others have queried their tickets too - google "Clapham Park Road bus lane"
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Looks like the Lancer's about to be crushed...........not a bad thing IMO !
Move North, dear boy...£30 up here !
Yed
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>> Looks like the Lancer's about to be crushed...........not a bad thing IMO !
>>
The last time a bus tangled with Zero, didn't the bus end up being written off?
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Can't see much wrong with that Zero... I assume you were kind enough to leave them the bollard in place?
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.
Last edited by: Zero on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 15:14
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The camera has foreshortened things a bit..,
Ok yes it was a bit of a cut in manoeuvre, but the bus was stationary, and the bollard was missed, and there was barely a murmur of protest from Fifi in the back, so it wasn't one of my most cutting London thrusts.
Location
tinyurl.com/5t6z4ht
I note from google street view, the signs appear to be non compliant.
Now does the team think I should drive 40 miles round trip to check if that is still the case?
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The colleti guy's blog linked above suggests the Council have revised the signage. It looks a pretty confusing junction though.
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>> The colleti guy's blog linked above suggests the Council have revised the signage. It looks
>> a pretty confusing junction though.
Yeah, you go right to turn left...
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The whole lane you tried to get into was a bus lane and not meant for cars - that's the way it looks to me. You should have gone straight on in the other lane and then turned left where the arrow show surely?
It does look confusing though. Visually the bus lane goes around to the left.
If you go back you risk another £60 fine ;-)
Last edited by: rtj70 on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 15:33
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>> The whole lane you tried to get into
didnt try - I did get into it.
>> was a bus lane and not meant
>> for cars - that's the way it looks to me. You should have gone straight
>> on in the other lane and then turned left where the arrow show surely?
correct summary and assumption.
>> It does look confusing though. Visually the bus lane goes around to the left.
confused me
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>> confused me
Some people are more easily confused than others of course... but I would defy anyone to get through downtown Bath these days without tripping over one of their excremental bus lanes, being spotted by one of their paedophile-operated traffic cameras and sent a pcn by the corrupt, unwashed, syphilitic swine in their piddling little council.
Happened to me a year or so back. I was so pleased I held a party to celebrate.
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Bad luck, Zero. There are loads of people on the roads who do far, far worse and get away with it.
You almost need a co-pilot these days to help you through the London jungle! :-(
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Well Zero, if the boot were on the other foot, I'm sure you wouldn't hesitate to be honest with me, so I have to say what a stupid manoeuvre.
No reason to be confused at all, it's clearly a bus lane, with no times on the sign. It says so in huge great letters on the tarmac and the fact that there's a bus stopped there should have been a clue.
Had the bus pulled away without checking his offside mirror, which he could easily have done not expecting a car to be trying to squeeze past him, you would have been squashed between him and the railings.
If that's all it takes to confuse a car driver familiar with driving in London traffic, them maybe you should stay outside of the M25.
Pat
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>> Had the bus pulled away without checking his offside mirror, which he could easily have
>> done not expecting a car to be trying to squeeze past him, you would have
>> been squashed between him and the railings.
Like a good London driver I was checking the bus. The bus had only just stopped (as you can see people had not even got on board) So a judgment was made that the bus would not be moving. The camera view has foreshortened the amount of room available. It was a typical London cut and thrust move that happens all the time. If you don't do it you don't get anywhere. I just happened to do it in a bus lane which was stupid.
I wanted to turn left and I assumed the right lanes went straight on - a fair assumption you would think.
>> If that's all it takes to confuse a car driver familiar with driving in London
>> traffic, them maybe you should stay outside of the M25.
A bit harsh.
Last edited by: Zero on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 16:13
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>>A bit harsh.<<
No, just safer:)
Pat
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Unlucky Zeddo - I did a waltzing panda in a bus lane in Liverpool a few months ago, seems I got away with it (reference to Chinese bear not a Polish Fiat) :-)
www.visit4info.com/advert/Kit-Kat-Pandas-Kit-Kat/9041
This advert would probably be illegal now under a number of PC issues.
Last edited by: Pugugly on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 16:24
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>> >>A bit harsh.<<
>>
>> No, just safer:)
>>
>> Pat
The manoeuvre, tho technically illegal, was perfectly safe.
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Contrition, mitigation and a willingness to change Zero.
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I doubt it going before the beak PU.
Had it been a copper, my contrition and willingness to change would have been Oscar winning levels. (No good using mitigation at the time, but the line "I realise my stupidity, now you have made me aware of the consequences officer" is a blinding winner every time)
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Little prospect of a copper enforcing and, in London, these things go to the Parking and Traffic Adjudication Service rather than the 'beak'. Absent a deficiency in signage or similar technicality I imagine Zeddo would be advised to cough before the discount period expires.
While on the subject of the adjudicators 'the team' may be interested in this Guardian piece on the (out of London) Chief Adjudicator Caroline Sheppard.
www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/mar/09/caroline-sheppard-traffic-penalty-tribunal
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If a camera recorded every single incident i mucked up in and around London or indeed any other heavily trafficked city over the last 35 yonks, i'd be broke and disqualified for the rest fo me natural.
If you didn't get a move on and go when you can you'd be stuck in the place for ever... though the ladies make it a pleasant place to peruse it's not somewhere a country boy feels comfortable.
In the peace and tranquility of bennet house the photo shows blindingly obvious that the whole lane is bus only, it's not quite the same at the scene.
Would i have made Z's mistake?, if not there then probably somewhere else.
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>> Had the bus pulled away without checking his offside mirror, which he could easily have done not expecting a car to be trying to squeeze past him, you would have been squashed
Only if buses make wheelspinning racing starts and reach 60mph in three seconds like you and other hgv drivers Pat.
:o}
Buses and other large vehicles actually accelerate fairly slowly enabling the wideawake London driver to nip round them sometimes, despite the efforts of local authorities to make this impossible by giving pedestrians vast bleak desert-like expanses of unneeded pavement and restricting the available road surface to something a bit wider than a pushbike lane. The trick is not to impede their progress while doing these manoeuvres. If I force one to brake or even lift off I award myself a slap on the wrist. I'm sure Zero does too.
I would contrast this behaviour with typical mimser comportment which appears to revel in getting in the way of faster or bigger traffic. Some people even here have boasted of doing this sort of thing. Gobbling like turkeys, they try to suggest they are driving legally and responsibly and curbing Mr Toad and other dangerous maniacs. I hate such people with a passion.
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AC ! - oh I don't know - just AC !
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Well, I fully expected everyone to jump up and defend Zero, London drivers, and illegal manouvres:)
Perhaps it takes a mere female to stand up and speak the truth to him!
Zero knows he can't jump in and judge other people without being judged himself, but I'd like to bet it was a calculated risk and not confusion, for all that:)
Pat
Last edited by: pda on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 16:48
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In fairness Pat - it takes a brave person to have coughed the job in here....
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Exactly, but I expect to take the flak when it's deserved and I do take it.
I don't expect the Mods to demand apologies for anything said to me or to stick up for me.
Zero's a big boy now, he knows what to expect and in fairness has dealt with my remarks much as I would have expected.
Stop mollycoddling him, for goodness sake!
Pat
Last edited by: pda on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 16:54
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I thought it was rather funny actually ! He (and probably you) would see me as fair game if I coughed similar thing. I was nearly zapped the other day 34 (indicated) in a 30 in North Wales of all places !
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>> Exactly, but I expect to take the flak when it's deserved and I do take
>> it.
>>
>> I don't expect the Mods to demand apologies for anything said to me or to
>> stick up for me.
The worse is yet to come of course.
The ridicule and laughter from my son when he gets home.
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Might have a little something to fess up to myself...
Basically, it involves an empty motorway, a recent fine sunny early morning and a sneakily placed camera van on a bridge...
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Now that's unforgivable Humph....
Pat
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>> Now that's unforgivable Humph....
>>
>> Pat
And mine is a money only job, no points.
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And the score on the dented door was....?
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86 apparently. Good brakes on those Nissans...
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You have had the letter demanding you grass up the guilty party already then?
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Despite driving in London on a daily basis for over 25 years, and making full use of Bus Lanes when permitted (essential to make progress), I have only ever been caught once in a lane when I shouldn't have been (Shepherd's Bush Road).
The photo with the letter of damnation wasn't clear, so I trundled off down to the Town Hall to see if they could get my photo clearer (or rather hopefully not - which would give me the perfect defence!). Imagine my glee when at first the number plate was not clear, the exposure all over the place (although I could tell it was my car - you just can).
How crest-fallen was I when the operator twidled his knob, and my mis-deed was clear for all (him and me) to see!
Still, once in 25 years is not bad, I reckon! (Parking tickets - lost count of them, of course).
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>> What's a bus lane? :)
>>
What's a Bus? Cutbacks here you know.
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>> Zero knows he can't jump in and judge other people without being judged himself, but
>> I'd like to bet it was a calculated risk and not confusion, for all that:)
Depends on your definition of risk.
From the safety point of view, it was risk assessed and performed in the blink of an eye.
From the consequences point of view, it was not deliberate. Every decent London driver knows to look for the cold silent optical law enforcers before you do deliberate cut and thrust routines.
In truth I was half expecting it, I knew what i had done shortly afterwards, and was fully expecting a David Bailey job from the front of the bus (buses carry bus lane cameras as well sometimes)
So yes I was confused by the road layout.
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>>yes I was confused <<
Now that's the admission I never thought we'd see on these forums
Zero's was confused:)
Pat
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A day of firsts then - two confessions from Humph as well !
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Two? One is purely hypothetical...Well it is now anyway...
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Of course sorry. Bit like RF and a bus stuff....that was hypothetical as well :-)
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I hate that place, my last parking fine was the London Borough of Lambeth as well.
We dont get on.
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>> I fully expected everyone to jump up and defend Zero, London drivers, and illegal manouvres:)
What could you mean Pat?
Zero admitted he was bang to rights and is damn lucky not to be doing life in the Scrubs; most London drivers - two thirds at least - are damn nearly as rubbish as the drivers everywhere else; and (were I one of the thinner-skinned elements here) I would take the gravest exception to your implied accusation that I am defending illegal manoeuvres.
It takes an old jokester and bad-taste connoisseur to tell it like it really sort of is.
(irritating smirk)
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>>It takes an old jokester and bad-taste connoisseur to tell it like it really sort of is.<<
No....it takes a (female) lorry driver:)
Pat
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Can taxis not go in bus lanes then?
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Yes they can.
There, its worth 60 quid just to prove to stu its not a taxi.
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Oh, id keep on with the taxi lark, otherwise all the Ford Focus fans will never understand why ya bought a Lancer instead of a decent car :-)
I know, glasshouses :-p
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In my defence, it was a confusing junction, and an area I don't travel much.
I think that one of the larger issues here is that there are a lot of junctions which are confusing, and signage is not always as helpful as it might be.
A couple of years ago I was driving at night in the suburbs of Philadelphia, following a rather complicated route, and finding that the signage at junctions was not quite as clear as it might be. It involved going on a toll road, and somehow or other I managed to get into the lane for people who had one of these automatic devices that enabled one to be charged electronically and so avoid the tollbooths. Or something like that.
The upshot was that I was told that I was liable to a fine, but when I explained that it was an innocent mistake, they gave me a written warning and let me go on my way. To be honest, I was feeling very pleased with myself that I was actually on the correct road for my destination, even if I got the lane wrong.
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I found the Americans generally very forgiving in lots of scenarios if you put the befuddled "Brit abroad" act on....I skipped away from a speeding ticket in the nineties using this tact.
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>>I skipped away from a speeding ticket
I hope you didn't do that in view of the patrolman. "Hey man, those brits are pretty strange" :)
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Didn't care - saved me fifty bucks.
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>> I found the Americans generally very forgiving in lots of scenarios if you put the
>> befuddled "Brit abroad" act on....I skipped away from a speeding ticket in the nineties using
>> this tact.
Yeah I walked out of a speeding / crossing the yellow line violation years and years ago. Scary moment tho, it was the middle of the nevada desert, one Nevada state trouper (hey nice snot stripes down the side of your strides man) with his holster unbuckled, and another covering us with a pump action through an open car window.
"Awfully sorry old chap, we are British dontchaknow." "Picture on my drivers license? oh no we dont do that type of thing" (it was the days of the green drivng license)
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As an aside to that, I was tanking it throught the nevada desert (yeah yeah I know) up the I95 last year in the Sebring, and good old tomtom Tim warned me of a junction ahead, a one horse, fly ridden town called Beatty.
I knew what this would be like, and sure enough the Speed limit signs came thick fast and close together 70mph, 55mph, 40mph, and WOAH 25mph, on an interstate!
As i crawled through the 25mph marker just in line with the HUUUUUUGE "Welcome to Beatty - Gateway to Death Valley" billboard, there, hiding behind it, was Sheriff Beufort T Fatbelly poking his speedgun through the window of his brand new pure white Dodge Charger, festooned with more lights than a blackpool tram.
I grined at him as we passed, the look of disapointment writ large upon his face.
We pulled into the garage/diner/store round the corner for a pee, tab, and a twinkie and when we came out The sherrif was there, checking our out of state tags on his radio. Sat on the bonnet of the Sebring, had a quick chat with him, nice bloke as it happens!
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"Tab" ?????
Aha !!!
:-))))
Edit - bang to rights indeed. Oh yes indeedy.....
Last edited by: Humph D'Bout on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 20:12
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No - the drink Humph, the Drink.
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Aye right !
How many "drinks" a day are you on now then?
:-)
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Yeah right. They stopped selling that crap a billion years ago.
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Back on the reds or have you managed to limit yourself to the golds?
I'm loving this by the way....
:-)
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>> Back on the reds or have you managed to limit yourself to the golds?
>>
>> I'm loving this by the way....
>>
>> :-)
you weak willed willy waving skirt wearer!
I haven't had a drag on a fag for 6 years.
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Still sold in the States.
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Still think he's wriggling mind. Diversionary tactic, no question.
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Banning smoking in pubs was the best thing they ever did. I still have a craving for a cigar with a pint. BANNED!
Yee haw!
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...methinks he doth protest too much....
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'spect he'll be back soon. Most probably out in the garden sparking one up...
:-)
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Good Lord Humph,
Are you that desperate? That you need to use me as your emotional crutch?
Get a grip man.
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>> ...methinks he doth protest too much....
He doth indeed Humph, he doth indeed. I'm not at all sure those alleged six years off the devil's weed have been good for his mental stability either. Of course smoking is a specific against premature senile dementia too.
To give the devil his due though, Zero doesn't bang on about how foul, disgusting and anti-social it is as a habit. However true that may all be, I always feel those who trot out that line are displaying a failure of courtesy.
Prats.
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A sign I saw in a pub in Sussex soon after the smoking ban was introduced amused me as an ex smoker, It was at the door to the garden area at the rear of the pub. It said, "Smokers keep the noise down or it will be banned out here too".
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Smoking is a foul, disgusting and anti-social habit. However true that that is, I always feel those who trot out the pro-smoking line are displaying a failure of courtesy.
Selfish Prats, all of them.
Last edited by: John H on Fri 18 Mar 11 at 18:44
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>> Smoking is a foul, disgusting and anti-social habit. However true that that is, I always feel those who trot out the pro-smoking line are displaying a failure of courtesy.
Selfish Prats, all of them.
Admirably ill-mannered and self-righteous, H, but poor on the level of meaning. The second sentence definitely needs work.
4/10
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>> >> Smoking is a foul, disgusting and anti-social habit.
Almost certainly true but then so is chewing gum, breaking wind and some would contend, having a Birmingham accent.
I don't chew gum or have a Birmingham accent and as for the other two I try to limit them to my private moments or at least position myself downwind of anyone liable to be sensitive to such things.
:-)
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>> I try to limit them to my private moments or at least position myself downwind
>> of anyone liable to be sensitive to such things.
>>
>> :-)
>>
But that spoils all the fun!!
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Get a dog, perfect scapegoat.
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>> Especially in a lift.
>>
That's wrong on so many levels....
I'll get me coat.
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>> if you put the befuddled "Brit abroad" act on
A variation of this worked for me once when I got pulled into a VOSA truck check on the M74. I put on my best Hugh Grant accent and explained that the complete lack of any previous tacho discs was down to this being an ad-hoc delivery for which we couldn't get a driver in time so I as office manager had to do it... The shirt and tie helped too.
There may have been some undetected technical infringement of driver's hours involved (south of england to glasgow and a good part of the way back).
Last edited by: Dave_TDCi {P} on Thu 17 Mar 11 at 23:09
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you still mix it with buses then?
I thought you'd learned about them the hard(er) way.
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Looking in Google Street view it looks quite clear to me Z.
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"it looks quite clear to me"
You mean those enormous 5 metre long huge white arrows, one pointing left (in the turn left lane) and the other pointing right (in the turn right lane)???
Easy to see how Zero fudged it up.
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Go easy on him. Old people get confused Dave. Especially if they're lighting one up at the time...
Last edited by: Humph D'Bout on Fri 18 Mar 11 at 15:26
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Probably wondering if he'll get to luncheon club before he wets himself.
Ted
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Not to mention the fact that their was a bus in the, err, bus lane ...
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Second letter arrived today. "Conditional offer" of a 3/60. Took it. What's the forum policy re criminals ?
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Makes me feel much better, If I smoked I would even puff on a celebratory cigar.
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>>
>> Not to mention the fact that their was a bus in the, err, bus lane
>> ...
Exactly - it was hiding the bus lane.
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Lets just say you had to be there on the ground in the time and place I was.
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At least there is no points so once you pay the fine that is the end of it.
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Exactly
Humph will be quaking in his pigskin hush puppies for three years.
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To be fair I doubt there is anybody here who has not got confused when approaching a new unfamiliar and very junction.
It is an easy mistake to make.
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>> To be fair I doubt there is anybody here who has not got confused when
>> approaching a new unfamiliar and very junction.
Oh yes, and the idiocy of driving into Asda's car park (no room to turn so reverse out..;) with a full size artic at 10am on a Saturday morning causing chaos, only to find the (unsigned) delivery point is approached from a road some quarter mile away.
Now that may well sound quite acceptable till you realise i live half a mile away.
And then one of my ex work mates wanders over to me as i'm backing round the blind bend out, taking the mick?, you've never heard anything like it.
Z's taking some flack here, probably deserves most of it as payback mind, but there's a whole world of difference of perusing the scene in the comfort of home with glass of tipple and being there in the heat and urgency of the moment....that's the best i can do in mitigation your honour.
We all know he took a crafty chance to nip round the inside whilst the lights were red and got nabbed...there but for the grace of God etc, i wouldn't admit to knowing anyone who hasn't done similar.
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Oi Z !
I was trying to be nice to you. Defending an old codger from verbal abuse and so on...
Last edited by: Humph D'Bout on Fri 18 Mar 11 at 18:23
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so Humph, how many is that you up to now?
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Still on 20 a day
Oh you mean points!
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Haven't had points in years. As for the other things, well I can take them or leave them now...
:-)
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>As for the other things, well I can take them or leave them now...
Maybe a good idea to get a checkup?
"Many longtime smokers quit spontaneously with little effort shortly before their lung cancer is diagnosed, leading some researchers to speculate that sudden cessation may be a symptom of lung cancer."
Note that they say symptom and not cause!
tinyurl.com/6k6uyev
Kevin...
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There ya go humph, your excuse not to give up.
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>> Haven't had points in years.
They are like buses, you wait years for one, and 9 turn up at once.
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Paid fine on line.
One less meal out next month.
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>> They are like buses, you wait years for one, and 9 turn up at once.
I've maintained 3 points pretty much constantly since I passed my test 20 years ago. Always SP30s until 2008 when I picked up a CU80 instead. It expires this September, I expect I'll get some more somehow between then and Christmas.
Last edited by: Dave_TDCi {P} on Mon 21 Mar 11 at 18:48
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Funny you haven't stopped it out of Nicole's housekeeping
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I haven't quite got around to mentioning my little snapshot to Mrs D' yet. She's never had a ticket in her life despite driving everywhere like an aspiring Sabine Schmidt.
:-(
Edit - I know I'll have to take the ridicule in due course though...insurance purposes and such...
Last edited by: Humph D'Bout on Mon 21 Mar 11 at 19:02
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>> Funny you haven't stopped it out of Nicole's housekeeping
>>
or reported on
>>
>>The worse is yet to come of course.
>>The ridicule and laughter from my son when he gets home.
>>
IIRC that was Thursday.
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>> Funny you haven't stopped it out of Nicole's housekeeping
She doesn't get any. I am retired remember.
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Bolo* - Zero caught - bang to rights - Clk Sec
