A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.
"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."
"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.
"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.
"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
The others nodded in agreement.
"Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully - - "thank God we can all still drive."
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYCKOQ1_RAo
This old couple are doing ok Dog.>:)
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As my late dad's mental faculties began to evaporate, symptoms included looking in the washing machine for milk, using a sanding block as soap (not as daft as it sounds) and putting his underpants on after his trousers, he could be persuaded that he was doing things wrong and that he should be looking in the fridge for milk etc.
Getting his car keys and driving licence off him were another matter. Stepmother and a neighbour had to wrestle his keys away from. As a long-time IAM member and one-time competition driver he must have thought his driving skills would be the last to leave him. In moments of lucidity he must have realised he was going to get grounded one day and secretly had several car keys cut, maybe on different occasions; we don't know. When stepmother moved out after he died she found 8 keys scattered around the house under rugs, taped into draws and one in a lampshade. There may have been more ...
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>>This old couple are doing ok Dog.>:)<<
Triffic Ducky (hehehe!)
BTW, my skin n' blister just had 6 months on chemo, she suffered from what is known as 'chemo brain'.
My manhole cover (brother!) has a form of Alzheimers (Lewy bodies dis-ease)
Both still driving.
If you drive while 'under the influence' of yeast pee, ya get your collar felt - like wise herbal 'substances'.
Crrrazy!
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Regards to brother and sister Dog not nice chemo been there.Alzheimers does tablets help?
I believe there is no cure.
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Cheers Dutchie ... bro is on Exelon alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=147
It's very good, I might get some myself :)
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Bottle of Malt whiskey Dog or Old Bols Genever will do the trick for you.>:)
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Ah! - Dutch Gin :)
Gottle of absinthe and some Danziger Goldwasser more like it ;)
Last edited by: Dog on Thu 9 Feb 12 at 13:14
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>> Ah! - Dutch Gin :)
>>
>> Gottle of absinthe and some Danziger Goldwasser more like it ;)
The best gin comes out of the Mahon Distillery on Menorca.!
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The Dutch were the first to produce gin, allegedly, it was used to treat kidney trouble, lumbago, stomach trouble, gallstones and gout, it was even used to treat The Black Death and although it was not in any way effective,
it made you feel better :)
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Nice one Zero,could be right Dog regarding Genever got a full bottle upstairs.Nice to mix it with a lemonade and ice.I used to drink it pure a bit like schnaps and a chaser beer.
Not anymore glass of red wine that is it for me.
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I have been to Danzig (Gdanks) Wodca and fun >:)
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I was in Gdansk in 92 and the casino in Sopot where I won 1,000,000 ...
Zloty :(
"London Dry gin is usually distilled in the presence of accenting citrus elements, such as lemon and bitter orange peel, as well as a subtle combination of other spices, including any of anise, angelica root and seed, orris root, licorice root, cinnamon, almond, cubeb, savory, lime peel, grapefruit peel, dragon eye, saffron, baobab, frankincense, coriander, grains of paradise, nutmeg and cassia bark".
Almost a health drink!
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A fine tipple is Gin. One of my weaknesses, G&T,
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I've never been 'into' gin, but the more I read about it the more I like it!
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A group of sprauncy whippersnappers were chortling to each other in Clapham over some piece of ageist excrement and looking lovingly on their blinged-up Euroboxes when a geezer in his seventies drove by in a scruffy old motor. As he passed, he called out: 'I'll buy any of you who can get to the World's Best Pub in Camden Town before me a bottle of vintage champagne,' before fading discreetly into the traffic.
From long and bitter experience, the old geezer always knew what lane to be in, always knew when to change lanes, knew how to run red and amber lights safely and knew when to hold back and when to go for it. Soon he had vanished into the distance and the whippersnappers had grown frustrated and started to try their luck a bit.
Fifty-five minutes later, one of the whippersnappers turned up at the World's Best Pub and found the old geezer peacefully sipping a glass of draught Leffe and admiring the young women clip-clipping past. As the whippersnapper gazed sorrowfully at a scrape on his offside door, left by a furious motorcyclist, he admitted to the old geezer that two of his friends had been nicked, one had crashed and three had got lost.
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What's the moral of the story A.C.? You are more eloquent with words than me.
Been there there done that got the tea shirt.>;)
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Age and experience always wins over youth and exuberance Dutchie!
Pat
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It's a bit like the story of the young lad in a hot hatch who beats the ageing driver of a Rolls Royce to a parking spot. "You have to be young and quick to do that" the young lad shouts.
The old guy slams his car into reverse and demolishes the front of the lad's car.
"You have to old and rich to do that" he replies.
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What's the moral of the story A.C.?
AC is that man?
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Its another version of the old tale of the young bull and the old bull.
The young bull rushes up to the old bull in the field, and says "There is a herd of fresh young heifers two fields away, lets run over the screw a few!"
The old bull replies "lets WALK over there and screw the lot"
Its from the age and experience school of fables.
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This could be funny, if it wasn't so true! - Dutchie
