A year or so back the mentally ill overgrown 12-year-old Mike Tyson was being accused, by the more rabid sort of sports hack, of 'lunching' on Evander Holyfield's ear during a match. Some lunch, I couldn't help thinking. Just a bit of high-protein nouvelle cuisine to keep that body in trim, a mere gristly titbit with little or no seasoning.
Now the roly-poly Liverpool player Suarez has shown us how a true sporting trencherman should behave, taking enormous bites out of the forelegs - I believe butchers call them 'shoulders' - of opposing players during games. Now that's what I would call a lunch.
Suarez has been given a ten-game ban and will have time on his hands for the rest of this year. He could do worse than take a long cruise to say New Guinea and some of the smaller, more backward islands in the South Pacific. If he plays his cards right he will return a lion refreshed, sated with repeated orgies of long pig. Yum yum!
I seldom comment on sport but this seemed a matter of almost national importance.
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Meldrew was a minute ahead of me on this subject. Great minds think more or less simultaneously, if not quite alike.
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Funny how it's always Liverpool involved in these things. Or Chelsea. Or, both at the same time.
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>> Funny how it's always Liverpool involved in these things.
Nothing funny about it Alanović. Anthropophagy may have fallen out of fashion in this country and others owing to the modern fad for vegetables, but it is still practised here and there albeit in largely symbolic form. Its roots go back a very long way and it could be said that we are all descended from cannibals.
I am myself a little hurt that Liverpool supporters on this site haven't rallied to my suggestion that Mr Suarez spend his ban in places where his dietary preferences may be respected or even indulged. It can only do him good surely, with knock-on benefits to Liverpool's league chances.
Of course the ban had to be imposed. Eating the limbs of opposing players is liable to weaken their team after all, and must count as a form of cheating. Mr Suarez may not have realised this, but a ban will serve to fix it in his mind for the future.
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Sporting diets - Armel Coussine
