With me, starting tonight.
I was cooking tonights dinner, a stir fry. Stuff nearly ready in the wok, I reached up to the cupboard next the hob for the soy sauce, whereupon a bottle of Nam Pla (thats anchovy fish sauce) fell out, hit me on the head and bounced onto the worktop. This was closely followed by a full bottle of oyster sauce that landed on the bottle of Nam pla breaking both and showering me, the corner of the kitchen and the dog in a mixture of both.
So there I am dripping in strange smelling sauces, standing next to a strange smelling dog trying to eat itself, the chicken burning in the wok, and a wife saying "Everything all right dear?"
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I am supremely confident that nobody is going to top that for a very long time.
Caricatured, that would make a lovely Xmas card. Well done.
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Mine's more of the impending variety.
I'm doing the lunch tomorrow, and discovered on the stroke of shops now closed o'clock I appear to have not bought any potatoes of any description.
I wonder how a full roast dinner with a packet of cheese and onion is going to go down.
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>> Mine's more of the impending variety.
>>
>> I'm doing the lunch tomorrow, and discovered on the stroke of shops now closed o'clock
>> I appear to have not bought any potatoes of any description.
I might be able to help as somehow when I did the online shopping with sainsburys I have managed to order about 10 times the amount i wanted !
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>> and discovered on the stroke of shops now closed o'clock
>>
There is always at least one of the small owner run supermarkets open around here. On the Christmas morning that our oven died I was sent to buy a big bottle of cooking oil for deep frying of spuds etc. (we do not normally deep fry). The first shop I tried was open, the Asian owner was doing a steady trade in forgotten items.
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The co-op was a genius idea legacylad. Bacon saved!
Oh my days, the bacon...
:)
Last edited by: Crankcase on Wed 24 Dec 14 at 21:16
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>> I wonder how a full roast dinner with a packet of cheese and onion is
>> going to go down.
go any frozen chips in the freezer?
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Coop in Settle is open until 10pm
Just about to walk down and buy some blueberries for my pancakes in the morning
My only disaster was going to my local at 6.30 and finding it full, and getting fuller, of part time drinkers. The sort of locals who only venture out at Christmas, fill the beer garden at Spring Bank and bleat about the price of half a pint of lager. Hope they are not there tomorrow lunchtime. Mutter mutter.
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>So there I am dripping in strange smelling sauces, standing next to a strange smelling dog trying
>to eat itself, the chicken burning in the wok, and a wife saying "Everything all right dear?"
And you have the cheek to take the mickey out of Pat's culinary efforts?!
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...but Pat isn't a Juggler is she? Oh! sorry, but neither is............
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When I worked in Safeway there were certain , limited I grant you, benefits of being on call and having to go in and do the Christmas morning freezer checks.
Very rarely did that trip not involve having to pick up something for someone who needed it for their Christmas day meal!
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Like a Case of something :-0)
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>> And you have the cheek to take the mickey out of Pat's culinary efforts?!
Even the accidental cupboard discharge and haphazard mixing of strange ingredients is better than Pats cooking.
Last edited by: Zero on Wed 24 Dec 14 at 21:42
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Half an hour ago I extracted 4 presents from their hiding place. One for The Lad and three for Mrs B.
Wrapped one for him and now cannot locate the other three.......
How can 2Cd's and a small electronic device completely disappear?????
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It took me an hour to find the Airfix Lambo I bought for Spamcan Junior a month back :-/
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How can 2Cd's and a small electronic device completely disappear?????
They are sitting in the lavatory, along with your car keys, smoking your cigarettes and having a fin laugh at your expense.
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Maybe you should unwrap The Lad's present in case everything else jumped inside its wrapping paper..
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Missing pressies found under duvet of (unused until tomorrow) spare bed. Must have shoved them there to avoid her seeing me crossing landing to 'wrapping station' in daughter's bedroom with them. Absolutely no recollection of doing so - and i'd hardly touched a drop at time either.....
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The beef was done to perfection, slightly pink in the middle and tender as could be. Aunt Bessie did us proud with roast parsnips and yorkies, likewise with Tesco Finest sprouts and cabbage with bacon bits and I managed to do the asparagus all myself!
Ian made it back from Reading at around 2.30pm and we opened a bottle of Prosecco to celebrate but after being up since 12.30am, I've opened the fridge this morning and found the planned sweet still in there!
Pat
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A busy days cooking here - lemon drizzle cake, chocolate and raspberry brownies, a chocolate roulade, a meringue/cream/fruit/caramel sauce thing, gammon and what would have been a nice granary loaf for toast tomorrow. Only the bread I put in the aga at 17:00 was only remembered half an hour ago. If anyone needs a carbon brick then please let me know!!
The trouble is, agas are very efficient at extracting cooking (or burning...) smells from the kitchen, if not efficient in any other sense. So it was only as I was tidying up after supper that I remembered...Oops. Croissant it is then ;-)
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Mine was many years ago, and the details are hazy for reasons that will become clear. But it was a disgraceful occasion, I remember that only too well.
Suffice it to say that Spanish bubble wine, black lumpfish roe eaten with a spoon, marijuana and LSD don't make the healthiest of breakfasts. I still remember the outlines of the puke marks down the wall. They were there for years, or ages anyway.
Disasters? These young folk today don't know the meaning of the word...
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Pity you didn't make it as a ring, Peter. Someone here would have had it off you as a winter tyre.
};---)
Reminds me, I need to set one off to bake in the morning. And probably get the turkey in from its cool shelter in the garage. Don't think I've known a Christmas Eve that felt less like it. I thought it might be fun stepping off a plane from NoFM-land at lunchtime and coming home to find festive preparations well advanced. Instead I've been fettling documents all evening and will have to work on Boxing Day to get the damn thing finished. Hardly seen the Beestlings and Mrs Beest is barely speaking - to me anyway.
Does that qualify?
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>> advanced. Instead I've been fettling documents all evening and will have to work on Boxing
>> Day to get the damn thing finished.
Serves you right for spending most of the time getting rat a***d with the ex-pat.
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Nothing spectacular here. SWM opened a cupboard door a couple of nights ago and her favourite little china vase fell out onto the Amtica, demolishing itself. She put it there. Phew, it it was me, my balls would have been in the George Foreman griddle !
Then the hinge side of the tumble dryer door broke. I managed to get the broken piece back on the hinge pins and it was ok 'til I tried to open it yesterday and the whole of the handle/locking catch came away in me hand. How am I going to get my frilly pants out...I know, I took the broken hinge side off and the catch released itself.
It works ok now and doesn't lock but you need to hold the door to with something heavy as it swings open and switches itself off. A full 2 litre bottle of pop on a small stool does the job admirably. Will get a new one in Jan...this one's about 80 yrs old, I think.
To cap it all, we have a mouse. I put 4 traps down but it obviously prefers to eat through a bag of oats rather than the gourmet food of a bit of Digestive biscuit stuck on the trap with peanut butter. Everything edible and accessible is now in Tupperwares or tins and I've not seen any poo for a few days.
What's going to happen next at the Palace of Fun ?
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3 kids all born in the autumn.
That qualify as Christmas Disasters?
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>> 3 kids all born in the autumn.
>>
>> That qualify as Christmas Disasters?
On the other end of the telescope:
My Mother, my partner (to be fair I was involved too) and my sister all had their first kids within the week before Xmas eve.
Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Thu 25 Dec 14 at 00:14
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My SIL has given birth to 15 children (yes, they do have a TV), 4 of whom were born between 22 and 27 September.
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Many years ago, my folks put their Golden Retriever into kennels as she was in season. Unfortunately while she was there she was somehow 'got at', and the result was a litter of 15 little retriever-cross-something-black puppies arriving at Christmas lunchtime.
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I caught wifey's sister in the kitchen with her dress around her waist, adjusting the gusset of her tights. She just smiled, stuck her tongue out at me and carried on.
Bet it smelt better than turkey too.
Disaster? Didn't have my glasses on.
Last edited by: BiggerBadderDave on Thu 25 Dec 14 at 10:58
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Lad has been desperate for an iPhone 5s. So one was sourced. Sodding sim didn't fit. Online tutorials say you can trim old ones down. So we did that. Now it fits but it still doesn't work. Doesn't fit in his old phone now either...
He's pretending it doesn't matter and that waiting until tomorrow is totally fine.
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>> Lad has been desperate for an iPhone 5s. So one was sourced. Sodding sim didn't
>> fit.
Didn't we warn you of that?
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Might have. A bit.
Merry Christmas.
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Made a Bailey's Cheesecake with coffee jelly topping for pudding as it was my turn to supply desert at the festive feast. Extracted it from case OK this morning, but during transport to ex wife's it slipped off the plate. Cheesecake style mess for after then. Still tasted OK, but nil points for presentation.
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All my calculations went wrong when my local stayed open an hour longer than normal. Met chums at noon on the dot, paced ourselves for a 3.15 finish, but that became 4.30.
Result:~ burnt bacon sarnies and only an hours feet up until the next party which began at 7.
Must get several miles walk tomorrow before taking light refreshment mid afternoon with the usual suspects, then being lured back to some reprobates residence to dance to seventies music. Their wives should not allow it! Mind you I like the 'Teenage Kicks' CD.
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Your Christmas Disasters here..... - MD
