I am due to go spend 10 days in Spain on Friday, however my grandma is now very seriously ill in hospital, I thought she would be ok but the closer my travel date has got the more I realise I need to spend as much time as possible with her and also need to be here for my family.
All my family kept telling to still go etc, but I realised after spending all day with her in hospital today she is far more important than the holiday.
The hotel and transport company won't give me any refund as it is too last minute etc etc.
My travel insurance said I should be able to claim but they won't know until they have all the paper work. I need to get the GP to sign a medical form even though I doubt she even knows she is hospital etc. I also need to get cancellation invoices from the travel companies.
Anybody got any experience of this? The total payout minus the excess will be about £400.
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Very sorry to hear this Rats.
Either read your insurance policy carefully to see what circumstances they'll pay out under, or file a claim with fingers crossed but bear in mind you may get nothing back.
Also weigh up that if Gran's condition takes a turn for the worse, you're looking at getting on the next available flight to Manchester. And you don't lie flying under the best of circumstances.
Good luck to you all at this time!
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>> My travel insurance said I should be able to claim but they won't know until
>> they have all the paper work. I need to get the GP to sign a
>> medical form even though I doubt she even knows she is hospital etc. I also
>> need to get cancellation invoices from the travel companies.
>>
>> Anybody got any experience of this? The total payout minus the excess will be about
>> £400.
>>
I had to cancel a holiday a couple of years ago for medical reasons. The procedure you have described is similar to the one I had to follow. Fortunately I had only paid a deposit and after the excess the amount involved was minimal so I did not bother to claim, I did have bigger problems at the time.
Last edited by: Old Navy on Wed 27 May 15 at 22:43
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Learnt a lesson there too, always book hotels you can cancel last minute :).
Originally my idea was to still go and get the next train back if anything happens, but I would not enjoy it partly because I would too worried about my grandma, I would feel really guilty, and I would feel it is robbing valuable time I should be spending with my grandma.
The insurance company have told me I have a valid reason to claim but it is unexpected and they would not expect me to travel while my grandma is seriously ill. I will fight that all the way, I have read the T&Cs and as I am concerned I am covered.
I have seen other grandparents ill in hospital before, but I was very close to my Grandma and only really realised that today, seeing a poor helpless old woman suffer so much is so upsetting.
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Should be ok - it is your gran's GP who will complete the insurance form (usually a charge for this as it is private work - we charge £20 or so).
He/she should know she's in hospital - the practice will have been informed by whoever admitted her.
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The question your Insurer will ask is were you aware of you Grandma's illness when you took out the insurance? Obviously if this is an ongoing condition which simply deteriorated they are unlikely to meet the claim. Insurance is for unexpected event. If it came out of the blue then you will have a valid claim.
Your policy will almost certainly have an exclusion something like this
"Any claim for a medical condition if any person upon whose good health your trip depends had a serious, chronic or recurring illness, injury or disease which you were aware of at the date you took out or renewed your policy or when you booked your trip (whichever is later) unless the condition was disclosed to and accepted by us.
Any claim for a medical condition where you or anyone upon whose good health your trip depends has been referred to a Consultant/Specialist, attended A&E or been admitted to a hospital between booking your trip and the departure date unless disclosed to and accepted by us."
That exclusion is from an AVIVA policy and is fairly standard. Some cheap travel insurance will only cover death of a relative and not illness
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My grandma did have health problems before I booked it, but she was at home and generally as well as most people her age are. The reason she was admitted to hospital is she had a fall and now she has pneumonia. The doctors suspect but have no proof she may also have cancer and this was news to me until today.
I booked the holiday three months ago. Right until yesterday I was hoping she would improve and I would still be able to travel.
The medical form I need to get the GP to fill in looks very complicated.
My insurance package was probably one more expensive ones on the market, I could have got it for 1/3 of the price if that makes sense?
Last edited by: RattleandSmoke on Wed 27 May 15 at 23:48
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You should be OK unless her existing health problem made her prone to falls when you could conceivably have a problem.
Don't worry about the form - it's the Doctor who has to fill it in and you will giving them £20 to do
it. ;-)
Good luck and best wishes to your Grandma.
Try not to worry too much. These things happen
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It far less likely you'll have problems claiming for a sick parent/grandparent than for yourself.
The amount you would be expected to know about your gran's medical conditions will be very low, compared to your own, so the insurer's are usually far more generous for sick relatives and are much less prone to try to find room to wiggle out of paying.
In all honesty the times I have seen insurers not pay out for holiday cancellation is because the person taking out the holiday has been either stupid when filling out their initial forms or basically lied about their own pre-existing health issues to get a lower premium (similar to car insurance I guess).
Last edited by: Lygonos on Thu 28 May 15 at 00:13
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Thanks, can the GP legally refuse to fill it in? The form asks all kinds of complicated questions about what medicines she was, she was quite a lot due to her age and diabetes etc.
As the amount I am claiming is that much, when I pay the excess I would have paid them £90 in total, the amount I am claiming for is £470.
There is also a good chance, her illness could drag on, she could pass away soon or it could be weeks is this likely to affect my claim? E.g they could say she wasn't that ill at the time so I could have still gone? She is not intensive care, but we have had the "we need to prepare for the worse" speech from the doctors.
Last edited by: RattleandSmoke on Thu 28 May 15 at 00:23
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>>Thanks, can the GP legally refuse to fill it in?
Yes. It's uncontracted work and therefore has no legal duty to do it. Hence the fee to compensate for the hassle of filling in a stupid form ;-)
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Tsk! Typical faffing behaviour Sheikha. Naturally you are already ashamed.
:o}
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First, be sure you want to cancel. Understand why your family all think you should go. Be careful that you're not over-reacting to her illness.
Second, be careful that cancelling your holiday doesn't make your Grandmother feel guilty.
Third, ask the Doctor his thoughts / feelings / opinions on how likely she is to die in the next month. He won't *know* and may refuse to comment. But if his answer is "Goodness no, she's got months in her yet" then you're perhaps making the wrong decision.
Your insurance company will not pay out if all she has is a cold and you're over-reacting.
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FFS Sheikha, just go on holiday as planned.
OK, yr granny's not at her best (that's grannies for you). But do yr nearest and dearest really need you faffing around when the old lady may actually be quite ill?
You can be in constant touch electronically and 12 hours away in the flesh.
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>> You can be in constant touch electronically and 12 hours away in the flesh.
12 hours at most, usually less.
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I am not over reacting to anything, she is gravely ill there is still a tiny chance she might just pull through this infection but even if she does she still has a underlining illness which is very serious.
She has now got pneumonia but even before that she was extremely weak and frail. I know what you're saying though.
I am thinking on the lines of waiting a couple of days to see if she makes any improvement and then go on Sunday, cutting my holiday a few days short would be better than loosing the entire lot. I am sure the hotel would understand.
My grandma would be annoyed if she found out I cancelled my holiday but she is so ill she won' know I was supposed to be away.
One other reason for staying is I want to spend as much time as possible with my grandma but most the time she is out of it, and I have spent quite a bit of time with her this week and 15 odd other people are going to see over the next few days so it will be several days until I am likely to see her again anyway.
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Difficult to judge. It all depends how close you are to your gran. Possibly leave it to the last minute...be packed & ready to go.
I take my 97yo Aunt out once a fortnight. Sometimes weekly on my day off work. She still lives alone, but gets quite lonely and enjoys a drive out, lunch then shopping. She really appreciates the effort I make to visit, a 70 mile round trip, but I'm away overseas for several weeks soon. I shall tell her today. She won't be happy about it, but I have my own life to live, and if she croaks when I'm away then by the time I return she will have been planted.
I feel I did my best for her when she was on top, so no guilty feelings on my part. Sadness yes.
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Rats, the worst that's going to happen is she dies while you're away. If you've seen her in last few days do you really need to be there?
It seems to take a week or more these days to arrange a funeral (crem congestion being the major factor) so you're going to be back in plenty of time.
Miss B had same dilemma two years ago with Mrs B's mother being gravely ill a few days before J was due to go on a sailing holiday with her boyfrien, his family and a party of others from the sailing club. Gran died about two days into the trip. The cause was a gradual but consistent decline as Alzheimers robbed her of more and more faculties.
Holiday was over long before we could arrange a funeral.
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>> My grandma would be annoyed if she found out I cancelled my holiday
of course she would, so take her feelings into account.
>> One other reason for staying is I want to spend as much time as possible
>> with my grandma but most the time she is out of it, and I have
>> spent quite a bit of time with her this week and 15 odd other people
>> are going to see over the next few days so it will be several days
>> until I am likely to see her again anyway.
So you have had the best, she does not know you are there, so you can't possibly be upsetting her by not being there.
Take the break, you'll need it for the funeral and its aftermath.
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Yep I'd go on the holiday but if you choose not to forget the insurance and swallow the loss.
Even if you jump through loads of hoops to get a payout it will add to your stress and to me is morally questionable to claim on insurance for a free choice... unlike an unexpected accident that incapacitated you meaning you were unable to go on holiday.
We cancelled a holiday cottage 3yrs ago as family circumstances made it a better choice to stay than go... lost the whole £600 but no big deal as it was our "choice" and what we stayed for was of more overall benefit than the holiday.
Last edited by: Fenlander on Thu 28 May 15 at 09:35
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>> We cancelled a holiday cottage 3yrs ago as family circumstances made it a better choice
>> to stay than go... lost the whole £600
Did you try to get at least a part of your £600 back? After all, there's a good chance the cottage would have been let to others for that week.
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>>>Did you try to get at least a part of your £600 back?
Oh yes but it was a private let from a strongly pro-nationalist, Gaelic promoting, Scottish woman who probably was pleased to turn over the English.
It was a seafront cottage in one of the most desirable villages in Scotland and cancelled 3wks before the holiday date... we were convinced she'd have been able to re-let by word of mouth in the village with no trouble.
But as I said what we did instead was worth more than the £600 so in the scheme of life nothing to worry over.
Last edited by: Fenlander on Thu 28 May 15 at 18:11
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>> Oh yes but it was a private let from a strongly pro-nationalist, Gaelic promoting, Scottish
>> woman who probably was pleased to turn over the English.
>>
Your prejudice is showing. Most people from the type of area you describe see a constant stream of tourists from all over the world. I have lived and worked with them without any problems and have friends from the rural far north.
For anti English you need the inner city council estates.
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No prejudice here.
Perhaps she was just a curt and unhelpful person then who claimed, against everything we knew of that village's cottage business in peak season, that there wasn't any chance of a re-let 3wks from the holiday date.
>>>Most people from the type of area you describe see a constant stream of tourists from all over the world... lived and worked with them without any problems
Indeed and that has been our experience of taking a cottage north of the border almost every year for 35yrs, sometimes twice a year. Great friendship and hospitality.... it's why we return most years as we will do for two weeks this year.
That's why we were surprised by this woman's attitude.
Last edited by: Fenlander on Thu 28 May 15 at 18:40
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Sorry to hear this, Rats, but I'd also suggest going if at all possible. I had to make a similar decision during my father's final illness, and he made it for me by insisting we should go. I knew when we left that it would probably be the last time I saw him, and I didn't leave anything unsaid, so I have no regrets.
As it turned out he held on till two days before we were due to return anyway, and we came home on schedule. As Bromp says, it was another ten days before we could get a crematorium slot, and I was available to help with the practicalities. I think it helped that we'd had a good holiday; I'm sure that was my dad's intention. What would your grandmother want for you?
This last bit might not work for you but we have something else to show for that holiday. I refer to him here as Beestling Minor, but that's the reason he has one of my dad's names among his own. Pretty special as final gifts go. I hope you can make some positive memories to offset the sad ones.
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On the coach now. Decided at the very last minute to go but do feel bad. I will probably have to come home early as the news never gets any better.
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>> On the coach now. Decided at the very last minute to go but do feel
>> bad. I will probably have to come home early as the news never gets any
>> better.
At least you have the comfort that the weather at home is going to be crap.
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I got back home last night, my grandma sadly passed away last week (so much for a cold). It hasn't really sunk in yet and I am still not really sure what has happened. She went in having had a fall and never came out.
I came home four days early as I just could no settle, been away was a good distraction though I was just feeling very guilty and unsettled being there, I also got a little bit upset and just felt I need to go home. I managed to book a last minute Megabus to Paris, then paid a small fortune on the Eurostar to London and then a train to Manchester. I nearly got pick pocketed in Paris is for another thread.
Cost me £170 to get back, I have also lost the money on the coach I had booked but the money I spent to get back probably wasn't much more than the spending money I would have needed if I had stayed.
I wish I had never booked the holiday in the first place, I wish I could have got a refund and not gone, but I was faced with staying and loosing the £500 or going and at least getting some good weather and time to take my mind of things ,as I wouldn't have been able to work anyway last week.
So yes I am glad I still went but only on the basis that the £500 was lost anyway.
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Its hard to lose your Grandmother but these things happen. People grow old. They die You have to get on with life. There does seem to be a large element of self-pity in your post particularly over the money spent on your holiday and premature return journey.
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I don't think it's self pity, he just ties himself up in knots and agonises endlessly about making a decision. That's just an example of it. Some people are just like that, it's just who they are.
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>> I don't think it's self pity, he just ties himself up in knots and agonises endlessly
I agree. He tries to do too many things at once. He seems to feel responsible for everyone, family or friends, like a sort of mother hen. Not to put too fine a point on it, the Sheikh is sometimes a bit of an old woman.
Nice cat though apparently.
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>> the Sheikh is sometimes a bit of an old woman.
Don't be offended Sheikha. I make harsher judgements of myself.
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>>I don't think it's self pity,
Neither do I.
What it is is a need to rationalise and justify both to himself and others and to seek approval from others.
Rattle,
Someone important to you died. That is a big thing and different people cope with it in different ways, you cope with it in any way that works for you. Just remember that the word is "cope".
If you need to rationalise it to yourself, then by all means do so. But you should not feel the need to justify it to others. Your life, your money, your family, your way.
You have my sympathies, its a sad thing. Don't bury the memories and don't be afraid to think of her.
Sadness is a reflection of what you meant to each other and thus is, in a way, a good thing.
I am sure that in the moments before one dies, the knowledge that people will be sad at your passing is a comfort.
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>> Its hard to lose your Grandmother but these things happen. People grow old. They die
>> You have to get on with life. There does seem to be a large element
>> of self-pity in your post particularly over the money spent on your holiday and premature
>> return journey.
There are times when it is better not to say what you think.
Distressed is distressed, not everybody deals with things the same way. What is helpful is to acknowledge the feelings of grief and guilt, express sympathy, and show support.
Sincere sympathy Rattle. I still miss my grandparents, and my parents, and it is 16 years since the last of those died. It can be hard not to dwell on it when putting it out of your mind feels like a betrayal. But it isn't. You don't have to forget your grandmother. Treasure the memories and don't reproach yourself; your grandmother would not wish it, I'm sure.
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There may well be but if someone puts up a post on a forum I believe they are expecting honest answers.
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>> I wish I had never booked the holiday in the first place, I wish I could have got a refund and not gone
"You can't make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.â€
― Michelle Obama
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Apart from the use of "can't " rather than "shouldn't" "that piece of advice seems rather flawed.
Contemplating a holiday in Syria for example .
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>>Contemplating a holiday in Syria for example .
Or Manchester.
:o}
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>> >>Contemplating a holiday in Syria for example .
>>
>> Or Manchester.
>>
>> :o}
Oy !
>>
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>>>Contemplating a holiday in Syria for example .
>>
>>Or Manchester.
>
> Oy !
Quite right, they're totally different. It rains more in Manchester and nobody wears shell suits in Syria.
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>> I got back home last night, my grandma sadly passed away last week....
I missed my mothers passing by 5 minutes, I had a lot of bad things going on in my life at that time, and had had a drink or 5 when I was told to get to the hospital NOW...
Since then, life has gone on.
Do I regret missing a last goodbye to her?
No, because I had said goodbye the last time I saw her alive -I just didn't know that was going to the the last goodbye..
Life is for the living, the past is somewhere you look back on to learn from, not to feed your regrets.
As I have got older, I have learnt not to regret what could have been.
Ian, I am of course sorry to hear of her passing, and my thoughts are with you and your family.
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Been making myself useful all day, I can't really get involved in any of the funeral stuff but for stupid reasons we are meeting up here rather than my grandmas house before the funeral. The b bathroom is still not finished as we had a load of other problems to deal with this year (partial rewiring, dry rot etc etc).
Managed to put the skirting boards on today and finished of the plastering. Now just got to sort out the floor and decorate it :).
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Nothing like a bit of good honest toil for distraction.
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That's true. When your last parent dies, you are distracted from bereavement by the bureaucratic mishmash of organizing a funeral, as liquid as possible if the market will stand that.
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I hope the funeral goes well Sheikha and seems appropriate to the granny you cared about.
Your family must value your presence.
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Any experience of cancelling holidays last minute? - Gromit
