Slept worse than usual. Was kept awake by a stray cow (I thought) giving an occasional anxious little moo outside the open window. Decided it must be Herself snoring or me wheezing, and tried to go back to sleep.
Turns out there were 12 or 15 of a neighbour's cattle trampling on our flower beds and croquet lawn and (on the positive side) fertilising them with copious amounts of dung. But it looks like a battlefield out there. Just as well it's winter because it might have been quite inconvenient in summer.
Herself says I should have got up and herded them away with her help. But my heroic night-time swineherding days are over. I'm a city boy at heart when it comes to that sort of thing.
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Nice anecdote, AC! Also reminded me of Beverley Nichols and the Cow story, which I shall now have to rummage about on the bookshelves for.
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I got the impression that you were somewhere in 'the city' AC, and were therefore unlikely to be bothered by farm animals. If you don't mind me asking, and apologies if you've divulged this before, whereabouts are you? Obviously no need to be specific.
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Been there, had that, 30 years ago. Ever since, we have religiously remembered to keep the gates shut at all times.
In theory you can claim from the farmer for failing to keep his lifestock contained, but what are a few flowers worth in compensation compared with half a lifetime's work creating a garden?
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West Sussex, Focusless. Rural just here, two small towns/large villages within 20 miles.
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>>fertilising them with copious amounts of dung
Perhaps not. I recall a gardening quote about a cartload of cow manure ain't worth a sheep's fart.
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>> a cartload of cow manure ain't worth a sheep's fart.
Herself said something similar bt, something about manure needing to be 'well rotted' to be any use.
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Yes, cows do rather stir up ones flowerbeds somewhat. Had a couple of acres of land when we lived up at Warleggan and a cow (big moorland breed) got in one night. Field looked akin to Flanders in WW1.
I sent Milo the Lion hound out after him and he soon had it on his toes hoofs.
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Two cousins, quite a lot younger than me (one of them is the rock guitarist, the other his missus) did get up and deal with the cattle. They tell me that the cattle all milled about in the car parking area waiting for one which had got trapped in a corner somehow.
When it joined them at last, they all trooped off down the drive dropping the odd cowpat. The cousins were impressed by their loyalty and 'solidarity'.
:o}
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Isn't swineherding pigs rather than cows?
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Yes. Same sort of thing though.
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You've reminded me. When I was in the rat-race and had a Blackberry within reach 24/7 - I was lying in bed listening to what I thought was a distant cow lowing - there was a bit of delay before I realized that the phone was on silent and on the window sill and the lowing was actually incoming e-mails as the phone gently vibrated...happy days (?)
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When No. 1 and I go fishing (she fishes, I drink) there is no phone coverage. Happy times.
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Some years ago I was (sort of) woken by a noise in the night. Woke in the morning to find a terrace house almost opposite had been devastated by a fire.
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Heh heh ! My phone makes a sort of short sharp squeaky buzz when an email comes in.
Driving around Poland earlier this week I was dismayed to hear it announcing multiple and regular mails coming in.
Jeez I thought, something has kicked off in the office, but as I was driving I resisted even a sneaky peek at the phone. I admit I'm sort of a recovering phonaholic on that one...
However, the mails just kept on coming, or so I thought until it dawned on me that the renter had a squeaky clutch pedal...
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One of the cattle sat on the nose of another cousin's elderly-but-good Mercedes estate, and broke off its three-pointed star nose ornament.
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Does it have leather seats.....?
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>> Does it have leather seats.....?
Can't remember, although it seems quite likely I suppose.
Do leather seats provoke cattle to vengeful, snorting rage? Do they notice things like that?
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I think AC, might be wrong of course, but I think, he was suggesting that if it doesn't currently have leather seats, that your friend might now consider fitting them preferably using the hide of the offending mascot crusher.
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>> if it doesn't currently have leather seats, that your friend might now consider fitting them preferably using the hide of the offending mascot crusher.
It would take ages and cost 10 times the value of the car. Nice idea, but you'd have to be quite mad to do it.
I've got to take the son-in-law's Cherokee to the fettler chap tomorrow (yes, it has got leather seats). I've been instructed to let it warm up at idle for ten whole minutes before driving off. I'm quite looking forward to seeing the fettler, who is most agreeable. I can bother him about the rattly rear suspension joints of my own jalopy, as I always do when I see him. He's very patient. Nothing ever comes of it though.
Basically he thinks (I believe) that I should stop faffing and get another car.
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Thu 17 Dec 15 at 19:02
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>> I've been instructed to let it warm up at idle for ten
>> whole minutes before driving off.
Woah, wait, what? Why?
Are there any non-Chrysler products in your family?
Parents of a friend of mine are married first cousins. South Wales, valleys. It happens.
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South Wales, valleys.
Perfectly normal down the "cymoedd"
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>> Parents of a friend of mine are married first cousins. South Wales, valleys. It happens.
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In certain valleys it's actually compulsory.
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>> but I think, he was suggesting
>>
I thought he was making a joke that the offending cow had a leather seat.
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Hang on AC. You have a cousin that's married to another cousin? It's obviously legal, but I thought cousins couldn't marry. Maybe the Victorians could and we couldn't, or the other way around.
Are they unrelated other than being your cousins, and then, no wait, that makes you, hang on, I'll get there...
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Tsk. This is West Sussex, not Louisiana... they're entirely unrelated apart from being married. And they aren't my cousins, they are Herself's.
I have met, I think, a couple of distant - second or third - cousins who were married, but I can't remember who they were.
It's not uncommon among the upper classes, but I'm no expert on those. Bit of a prole, me.
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>>It's not uncommon among the upper classes
You mean the Windsors Saxe Coburgs?
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I can hear the banjos from West Sussex playing now as Lud dances in the background in his hobnailed boots !
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Not sure we've got a blind idiot genius guitar player or a snaggle-toothed banjoist here, but I'll make enquiries.
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>> Hang on AC. You have a cousin that's married to another cousin? It's obviously legal,
>> but I thought cousins couldn't marry. Maybe the Victorians could and we couldn't, or the
>> other way around.
>>
It's always been legal. I've known two cousin couples.
I don't think it's partcularly risky unless there is an inherited illness, or repeated over many generations, like the Hapsburgs.
I've two cousin brothers married to two sisters, which is quite unusual,
So their offspring would be double-cousins, which would be almost as close as brother/sister.
There was an interesting programme a year ago studying the ambiguous relationship that cousins had in Victorian times. With large families, frequent maternal death, and the urge to maintain inheritances, cousins often grew up together and were virtually a special kind of brother/sister yet who were permitted/encouraged to marry.
It's very uncommon nowadays apart from in certain cultural groups.
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There's a certain part of the community that regularly marry cousins.
Unfortunately social services have to deal with the resulting problems.
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The cattle a-lowing... - Crankcase
