We all joke about mother in laws.
I am lucky. Mine is smashing. She has always been supportive and has never taken sides. She enjoys the odd MIL joke too.
In WW2, as a kid, she survived being strafed by the Luftwaffe by diving in to gorse bushes when out in the open and on another occasion bunked off school with her older brother and went in to the back garden to play just as their home exploded behind them curtesy of a lone raider. Shortly after AA guns were installed across the town.
She moved to the bright lights of London as soon as she could and worked in the city and joined lots of clubs including a choir which was in a command performance for Her Majesty.
Before Covid, she had a full social diary, but would always make time for family, though sometimes you had to fit in with bus time tables (she didn't drive). All her social activities kept her healthy, thinking and bright.
Covid changed all that and despite frequent visits from us, often at the far end of the garden (she had cancer so we couldn't risk her getting ill), she felt lonely, isolated and robbed of her independence.
Since lockdown reduced she has been going out with Mrs Z and SIL.
Then the week before last, on her first solo venture in to town on her own some lowlife targeted the frail 84 year old and mugged her. Luckily she wasn't hurt, just shaken.
She of course had her address on her key-ring (from more innocent times) so I changed all the locks that night.
On Monday, Mrs Z took her out for a walk along the seafront with the intention of getting some fresh air and exercise as well as the obligatory ice-cream.
Unfortunately moments after getting out of the car, she stumbled, fell and hit her head. She's on blood thinners so there was blood everywhere.
There were some good people around who came and helped Mrs Z try to comfort her mum and look after the dog until an ambulance arrived. She spent the day in hospital and though she looks like she has gone 9 rounds with Mike Tyson, she was sent home.
Mrs Z spent the night and yesterday with her and SIL is doing tonight and tomorrow and they will rotate until she feels well enough to stay alone - she wants her independence.
Why am I writing this at 4:30AM? Well, it's cathartic and I can't sleep; it really upset me to see someone I admire and don't mind saying love, change so much over the last few weeks and months and it also underlines the point that the COVID lockdown has hidden victims.
We know our job is to get her back to her former self.
Look after yourselves and your loved ones.
Zippy.
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I don't really know what to say, except to wish your MiL the very best going forward.
Life can go so badly wrong so easily.
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It's lovely that you feel able to write this.
My wife could write something similar about her late mother-in-law. Unfortunately I cannot.
My mother-in-law is a wonderful grandmother but lives her life vicariously around us despite being 200 miles away. Not nasty or vindictive but is incapable of following rules so ignores all Covid-19 rules unless persuaded to by her grandchildren. Financially she is a mess, spending too much and always looking for get rich quick schemes. Financial, property or car advice is ignored. I've already bailed her out once to the tune of a substantial sum meant to last for a number of years but is going down the same road.again.
The worst thing she did was to keep a family secret from my wife which directly affected her. Maybe a good idea as a child, but when she had an opportunity when my wife was 40 years old she failed and it caused a lot of anguish five years later when it came out. All trust destroyed.
So Les Dawson was right and Zippys mother-in-law is clearly an outlier and a paragon of goodness who should be cherished. Covid-19 is a nightmare for people in her position and I wish her well.
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I am sorry to hear that. I wish her well.
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There are some despicable people. I really hope you can get her back to her old self Zippy.
It's a slippery slope unfortunately at that age, but it's possible to recover. I knew a lady who had a serious fall at a similar age, and lay for 6 hours with a broken hip before being found. We thought it must finish her off. A few days later I took my then 7 year old daughter to see the old lass in hospital and she was already talking about getting back to work running her pub. That's exactly what she did. She died aged 95, but that was about 20 years ago.
She was actually the country's oldest pub landlord for a while, a title probably now held by her 90 year old son.
Last edited by: Manatee on Wed 30 Sep 20 at 09:40
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I'm so sorry to hear this, Zippy.
Your M-i-Law has had some very bad luck and I wish her well. Lockdown and the whole virus issue have had many unwanted effects and it's such a shame that this has been compounded for her by the mugging and the fall on the sea-front. You say she's had cancer as well.
If she's determined enough and gets plenty of support and encouragement I'm sure she will recover, though her confidence must have been affected. I'm sure the family will rally round.
Best wishes to her, you and them.
If you feel able, the occasional update I'm sure would be of interest here.
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A very moving post Zippy, I do hope MiL makes a full recovery both mentally and physically.
On the mugging, any scumbag who targets a lady of that age is one that would be better disappearing from the face of the earth.
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About 30 years ago, I had a flat in central Bath. One summer evening, my windows being open, I heard a commotion/raised voices outside on the street. I looked out of my second floor window to see an old lady being mugged by a couple of youths, they were trying to wrestle her handbag from her.
I shot downstairs to see if I could help, but by the time I got down there, one of the attackers was on the ground nursing a profusely bleeding broken nose, and the other was running off down the road minus the handbag.
I asked the old lady if she was ok but while she admitted to being shaken, she assured me she was uninjured. While I was attending to her the second one scurried off.
I gave her a cup of tea, and offered to walk her the rest of her way home, but she refused. In conversation over the cuppa I praised her for her bravery and indeed her fortitude in fighting off her attackers. Turned out she was a ( long since ) retired police officer and wasn't about to let a couple of "daft lads" as she called them, have her handbag.
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I hope that she recovers soon Zippy, and that her run of bad luck is over.
My MIL was pretty good, just a few little irritations, but probably less than I had for her, although she often told people she had a great son in law! She lived with us for 15 years in a granny annexe, but we rubbed along pretty well. Very old school, a bit prim and proper sometimes (never met anyone before who used serviettes as a matter of course at every meal!), but she was a bit of a girl when she was a kid. She and our son doted on each other - he was born 2 years into our co-habitation, and died in 2000 13 years later. Rarely had to find a babysitter! I remember taking her to a garden centre and she bought a besom broom - I asked her at the checkout whether she wanted it wrapped, or would she prefer to fly it home......
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>> he was born 2 years into our co-habitation, and died in 2000 13 years later
Not sure I'm reading this correctly; your son died 13 years later?
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>> >> he was born 2 years into our co-habitation, and died in 2000 13 years
>> later
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>> Not sure I'm reading this correctly; your son died 13 years later?
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Oops, badly phrased! No, the MIL died 13 years after he was born.
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Zippy. You have my utmost respect. Best wishes. Martin.
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I think the word "love" is usually used on here with reference to cars, so well done, Zippy, and thanks for a very moving post. I hope MIL recovers soon.
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A Hommage to Mother In Law - No FM2R
