Non-motoring > I despair! Miscellaneous
Thread Author: zippy Replies: 17

 I despair! - zippy
www.thesun.co.uk/news/13130709/cat-dies-strapped-firework-blasted-air-cops-wrexham/

Words fail me.
 I despair! - R.P.
Awful isn't it. It was reported in the local paper last week, Police were searching for the poor animal's body :-(
 I despair! - Robin O'Reliant
Assuming it happened at all, of course.

"A later post said the force was 'struggling to find the cat's body' and reiterated the appeal for information."

 I despair! - tyrednemotional
...I did wonder whether it was carrying a large parcel of Republican votes....
 I despair! - CGNorwich
Exactly how would you strap a cat to a large firework? It’s not going to just stand there and most likely Ito use would get badly scratched and the cat would flee. Sounds deeply unlikely to me.
 I despair! - Lygonos
Heard tales of people putting bangers up frogs bums when I was a kid - probably urban mythology I suppose.

I would like to see the person who tried to insert a firework into a cat.

Or what's left of their face and arms.


Don't bother googling for videos of guys trying to lauch fireworks by clenching them between their bumcheeks - you'll wet yourselves.
Last edited by: Lygonos on Wed 11 Nov 20 at 15:53
 I despair! - VxFan
>> Heard tales of people putting bangers up frogs bums when I was a kid -
>> probably urban mythology I suppose.

I reddit somewhere too ;)
 I despair! - Zero
>> >> Heard tales of people putting bangers up frogs bums when I was a kid
>> -
>> >> probably urban mythology I suppose.
>>
>> I reddit somewhere too ;)

I guess the frogs croaked it?
 I despair! - Duncan
Were the alleged perpetrators, or the cat Welsh?
 I despair! - zippy
I was doubtful originally.

Several other news services report the cats as being kittens.
 I despair! - Runfer D'Hills
I have a cat story. When I was at university, a guy on my course had moved into digs in Edinburgh because his family home was on the the other side of Scotland in Largs.

Despite his unfortunate beginnings, we became good friends.

Anyway, one night in first year, he'd been out on the lash, got back late to his room and crashed out.

About 3.00 in the morning I got a phone call from him asking if I was sober, if my car was working, and if I could possibly take him to A&E. I was able to answer positively to all questions.

What had happened was that he'd woken up about 02.30 with a raging thirst, still fairly hissed, and had crept downstairs naked and in the dark to get a glass of water. What he hadn't realised was that the family cat had just had a litter of kittens in her bed which was under the Belfast sink in the kitchen.

The cat had apparently decided that his dangly parts were a threat to her newborns...

He'd tried to patch himself up but simply couldn't stop the bleeding.

The nurses at A&E and I, did have considerable problems breathing that night.

;-)
 I despair! - R.P.
They could be of any nationality - Wrexham is known as "little Warsaw" and has a significant population from over Offa's Dyke. Can cats have nationalities ?
 I despair! - Runfer D'Hills
Under normal circumstances, I ride my bike over Offa's Dyke quite a lot. He's never objected.
 I despair! - PeterS
>> Under normal circumstances, I ride my bike over Offa's Dyke quite a lot. He's never
>> objected.
>>

But has she...?

;)
 I despair! - Bromptonaut
It does sound a bit far fetched.

There was a 'joke' when I was at school about little Johnny putting a banger up a cat's bum. Teacher said bum was crude, the proper term is rectum.

It certainly did Miss said little Johnny.....
 I despair! - Runfer D'Hills
Erm, boom boom?
 I despair! - Zero
No-one gives a rats arrrs about all those cats killed for their eyes in the middle of our roads.
 I despair! - Crankcase
Somebody misheard the takeaway order and ended up with unlucky fried kitten?
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