Found posted on another forum.
In a move similar to Tesco refusing to stock sugary drinks like Ribena and Caprisun to make the world a better place, Vauxhall have announced their Vehicle Buyback Program.
In an attempt to make Britains roads safer, Vauxhall have taken the decision to buy back all Corsa B models currently on the road.
Vauxhall stated that the number of dangerous boyracer ***** and half blind pensioners driving these cars on Britains roads has reached epidemic levels and needs to be addressed.
They claim that the cost of buying back these vehicles has reduced to a level that is both viable for the manufacturer and attractive to the owners. They stated “we believe that this program will reduce the UKs Road Traffic Accident Figures by a massive 30% as these Chavs and OAPs are a menaceâ€.
We asked Vauxhall how much owners could expect to be offered for their rides, they replied “All owners will receive compensation based on the current condition of the vehicle but as an incentive, the offer will be a little more than current market value. We expect compensation to be in the region of 2-3 cans of Monster or a bag of Werther’s Original dependant on their ageâ€.
When asked about the problem of these dangerous drivers just buying new vehicles and then continuing with their reckless ways, they stated “part of the BuyBack agreement is that they won’t buy another Vauxhall for 5 years, so hopefully they’ll all **** off, buy Fiestas and give Ford a bad nameâ€.
|
Vauxhall announces buy back scheme new
Vauxhall announces buy back scheme new