So, going back to December 2018, I'd just bought the Jaguar but had to come to terms with not using it for a while because we had our usual invitation to join Mrs H's family for New Year in France and also looming early in January was a trip to Goa with 3 of our 4 children and their partners. This was to be our first long-haul flight since 1989 and I was fretting (needlessly as it turned out) about security at Manchester Airport, but looking forward to a different type of holiday where caravans and bicyles weren't involved.
December 27th dawned and we were on our way to Hull with the C8 loaded with the antique oval folding dining table, chairs and other bric-a-brac that Mrs H's sisters had inherited when their parents died 10 years ago, but we were the only ones with space to keep it. It's been the bane of my life as the furniture has moved around from one house to another and from room to garage to room. Finally, I had to threaten to hand the ensemble over to a charity shop before one of the sisters agreed to take it.
As we left the A1 and leaned across the roundabout to the M62 I thought I felt a little caress through the steering as the car's considerable weight moved towards the offside front wheel. By the time we got to the docks, there was an intermittent swish-swish-swish noise and Mrs H noticed and had to be briefed. I guessed it might be a wheel bearing. Should we turn back? What, and miss the party? AND have to keep the table? Not bloomin' likely.
Now I'd seen the broken bearing from when the front left gave up in France in 2013. Even if it did make a noise like a WW2 air-raid siren before it was replaced, it was heavy and substantial enough to use as a church door-stop. Based on this highly technical assesment I decided it would last the 250 miles to the family retreat. We have EU recovery (who wouldn't with 4 vehicles with ages totalling 49 years?) in case I was wrong.
At the dockside in Zeebrugge I jacked up the car and waggled the wheel top to bottom. There was play and a tick tick as the wheel moved. The optimist in me made me take the wheel off and look carefully for anything loose that could be rubbing on the tyre or driveshaft to give the swish noise. There was nothing. I switched on and put the car in 1st on the jack, but there was no unusual noise with the wheel unloaded.
By the time we stopped near St Quentin, the bearing could be felt vibrating through the steering, making my watch strap rattle, and by the time we passed Reims the vibration had knocked out the wheel sensor, the ESP and ABS lights were on and we were cruising at 100kph out of sympathy for the car. We arrived near Chaource and partied and said a long-overdue goodbye to the furniture.
January 2 saw me at the local Renault garage that had done the left wheel bearing years before. I watched the garagiste jack up the car and waggle the wheel. The movement could be seen from metres away and it the 'tick' had become a 'clonk'. The C8's details were on the French computer from years ago and an emailed quote, a 'devis', was on my phone before I had started the car to go back to the in-laws'. I got quotes from a couple of local UK garages; the figures were all similar.
What to do next? I was all for packing our bags, driving up the road, parking at the next bar, and calling for recovery. This, seemingly simple procedure, was met with horror by Mrs H. She wasn't getting recovered and turning up at home on a flatbed truck at any price. Why? A large part of it may be that she thought it would take so long that we would miss our flight to India. As the purchaser of some 22 Citroen cars over the past 40 years you might expect me to be familiar with the ways of the recovery wizards. I am, but I can't remember Mrs H ever being involved. Anyway, as this discussion took place, b-i-l offered us his 100% reliable (cough) Skoda Yeti to take us to the UK, and garage space in his dusty barn to park the C8. I accepted as I couldn't summon the energy to argue with Mrs H's illogical stance. I bought some insurance for me to drive, I changed the reg. on the ferry booking, nabbed the Autoroute tag from the C8 and we were all set. We partied and feasted some more and the in-laws waved us goodbye. I was to return the Yeti to b-i-l's garage in Halifax on our way to Manchester Airport and our next holiday. This simple move would give the Skoda the required 6 months in the UK to satisfy b-i-l's insurers.
I found the Yeti to be quiet, comfortable and relaxing transport. The cruise was set to 120kph, the Autoroute slipped by without incident, apart from being nearly wiped out by a snoozing Spanish artic driver, until we got to Kortrijk when the EML came on and the Yeti had no power to speak of. I blasphemed loudly enough to wake Mrs H and we pulled over to look at the owner's manual. It seemed that not having an ex-Police Class 1 driver at the helm had spooked the Yeti's computer. This car is one that had been subject to the VW diesel nonsense and been modified. B-i-l had joined the class action against VW because the car repeatedly performed DPF regens and the economy was markedly poorer since the work had been done. I've no idea why a few hour's cruise at 75mph would be anything but good for a VW DPF. The manual was little help but I had power when we started up again until we parked up on the boat. I hoped 12 hours rest would give it a chance to sort itself out.
Once again the Hawkeye optimism was misplaced and the EML light came on annoyingly often until we left the car parked in Halifax. Mrs H observed that we'd been away less than a week and I'd managed to wreck 2 cars, a comment which I didn't find at all amusing. This was before I backed the Yeti into the garage door frame and scraped the driver's door mirror while looking at the reverse radar display, trying to avoid b-i-l's piano. WTF was his piano doing in his garage, I asked myself. The mirror seems to wiggle around all right but the repeater lens is cracked. I felt as if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. The Yeti is parked in Halifax at the moment awaiting B-i-l's return from Shanghai in July. I've 'fessed up to the mirror but not mentioned the EML. Yet.
All advice welcome.
Next part follows in good time whether you like it or not.
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