This is slightly out of place since it's not a joke but a true story. Many years ago, I lived in Hamilton, Lanarkshire, and needed to get to Edinburgh without using a car since I was picking one up from there. To do that trip, I first had to go by rail to Glasgow, and from there, I could catch a train to Edinburgh.
On the train to Edinburgh, I was sat opposite a group of older women. One lady opened her mouth when the train started moving, and talked both continuously and loudly. After about an hour, she complained of a pain in her throat.
I really don't know how I resisted saying, "if you shut up a bit, your throat would hurt less"