I was walking through the park yesterday when I came across a tramp and his girlfriend having a blazing row. She screamed at him, "Right, we're finished", and stormed off.
He then emptied his bottle of meths over the bench and started trying to light it.
I yelled, "Oi, WTF are you doing?"
He shouted, "She might walk out on me, but she's not getting the house".