A man was walking home from the pub, very late in the pitch black of night. There isn't another person on the street.
Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes an ominous bump...bump...bump.
He looks behind him and spots a furtive, shadowy thing coming down the street after him. Unnerved, he picks up his pace, finally breaking into a panicked run. He looks behind him again, and the shadow is closer.
Bump...bump...bump. The glow of a streetlight illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man's horror, it is a sarcophagus, bumping down the pavement. He quickens his pace, running as fast as he can go, but the sarcophagus only pursues more quickly.
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP! He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for his keys, and slips in the door just as the sarcophagus reaches his front steps. He slams the door and leans against it, catching his breath. Bump...bump...bump. There is a moment's silence, and the man wonders if he dares to breathe.
He rebounds away as the door breaks off its hinges. Scrambling to his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the sarcophagus races after. BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP! Terrified, he backs into a corner and starts throwing everything within reach at the sarcophagus -- a handful of papers, a vase, a box of crackers, a lamp -- but the sarcophagus keeps coming!
BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP INCHES FROM HIS FACE, and nothing seems to slow it down! His hands fall upon a packet of throat lozenge and he throws that at the sarcophagus, too!