It seems that nothing is sacred for the Direct mailers/marketers..
Received a letter addressed to me.. Full names etc asking me to phone to talk about my funeral plan...
I called and pressing the appropriate option to ask why they had chosen me to write to, and who had given them my details.
My details have now been removed from the mailing lists,
BUt if you receive anything else just bin it.
No, I will put it in an encelope with a paperback and send it unstamped so that you'll have to pay the return postage.
(As I have done successfully in the past with others who don't or won't listen)
One (nameless) insurance company sent me £50 in compensation after I got very irate with a senior manager.. and yes the junkmail stopped !!!
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It’s not worth getting irate. Bad for your blood pressure. You might need a funeral plan:-)
Get lots of junk mail for stair lifts, walk in baths, incontinence pants, no frills cremation plans and cruises. I guess they know their market
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When covid hit, I got a junk mail funeral offer & my covid test kit in the same mail. oh the irony.
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Every month or so for what seems years I get emails from Domestic & General wanting me to pay £4 ish a month for the washing machine and £4 ish per month for the tumble dryer. Each time I press unsuscribe and they keep coming. At least once per year an envelope drops on the mat and makes it to the recycle bin. 2 emails in the last week!
On Thursday the phone rang
Domestic & General telling me the warranty on my Candy Tumble Dryer expires next week .
I thanked her for the call and asked for me to be unsubscribed as the product they sell is of no interest to me. I only insure what I deem necessary - House+Contents, Car. No life cover as at nearly 80 it's of little/no value to me/wife.
I pointed out failing to unsuscribe me was an offence that could lead to fines from the Regulator.
She ticked some boxes and said "You will not receive any more phone calls or emails"
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This is the latest development in funerals. Expect a special introductory offer dropping through your mailbox soon.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd9gkknee0zo
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Does a thorough wash with a pressure washer have the same effect?
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The key to water cremation is down to using 5% Potassium Hydroxide.
The other addition is water up to 300C, attainable with very high pressure
Dangerous Chemical!
Potassium Hydroxide
nj.gov/health/eoh/rtkweb/documents/fs/1571.pdf
300C is self explanatory
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It’s the chemical used to make soap when it reacts with fat. Also used to clean drains in the same way. Water cremation is basically the same. The human body is turned into a soapy residue that can be disposed of via the sewer system.
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a soapy residue that can be disposed of via the sewer system.
Thames Water will be pleased to see the potential addition to the fatberg problem.
Maybe the crems are missing a trick here. They could become soap manufacturers and as an add -on, you could be supplied with a personalised, odour enhanced, supply of Nonenal soap to remind you of your loved one?
nonenal - you learn something new on this site every day!
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...maybe they could just do the first stage, then give you Grandad's skeleton back so you can put it in the corner to frighten the kids.... ;-)
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Traditional methods are also the least environmentally damaging.
Dig a hole, body in, wait a few years and nature takes care of the detail.
A gallon of diesel to dig a hole with a JCB, or give a man a spade. Job done. No need for high tech solutions.
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I’m all for a sky burial. Either side of the Mallerstang valley with 360 views. 3 Peaks, Howgills, Lakes, northern Pennines inc Cross Fell, even the hills across the Solway Firth on a crisp winters day.
Build a 20ft high platform away from
the main paths and let carrion carry my bones far & wide.
Job done
Last edited by: legacylad on Sun 8 Mar 26 at 13:16
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>>I'm all for a sky burial.
They had to stop doing that (in India?), because the diclofenac concentrations in the bodies was killing the vultures that were eating them.
I don't think we should suggest suttee.
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I'm looking for a tribe of cannibals to take my body, at there own expense of course. It will save Mrs O'Reliant funeral costs and feed the poor.
What's not to like?
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>> I'm looking for a tribe of cannibals to take my body, at there own expense
>> of course.
Struggled with that for a mo; reading cannibals as cannabis!!
Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Sun 8 Mar 26 at 15:56
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Struggled with that for a mo; reading cannibals as cannabis!!
It's called Going Out On A High..
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>> I don't think we should suggest suttee.
>>
I had to google suttee.
Thought it was an unusual spelling of Sweeps pal.
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>> This is the latest development in funerals......
'..The powdered remains are given back to relatives in an urn.'
Well, I don't for one moment think any of my relatives would want my 'powdered remains'! Is it not time to abandon ancestor worship and industrialise the green (blue?) disposal of over 500,000 unwanted UK dead bodies per annum? Design a couple of freezer solar (+sail?) powered RSVs (drone boats) based in a once busy port with spare capacity (e.g. Bristol, Liverpool) which would greenly glide to a square mile area of the Atlantic 200 miles away beyond the edge of our too shallow continental shelf. Then, tip the contents into the sea for aquatic blue bio-disposal -(a bit like the old garbage boats did.....perhaps they still do?) Say x4 container sized capacity (apparently can get 500 bodies into a container) 2000 bodies per return journey at 10mph, 150 trips each boat per annum. £200 plus collection cost if needed should cover it when up and running.....£100 million venture capital please to JF BodyBlue Disposal Ltd......Until then, mine will be available for medical science to collect.
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I can see that needs a little more research, to make sure we sink and that body parts don't float up as we decompose and get washed up on distant shores.
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Fish and chips anyone? :S
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Unwanted Junkmail Funeral Plan - CGNorwich
