I forwarded the e-bay link to an engineer friend who retired from the old company when I did; I hadn't realised that he once owned a Renault, and he returned this tale of woe...........
I once had a Renault Laguna company car which was my first and definitely my last Renault.
I should have known better, because I'm old enough to remember the Renault Dauphine, which I've just seen described as "the most ineffective piece of French engineering since the Maginot Line". This, like the critically acclaimed, iconic, best-selling, Caravelle, was around in the fifties.
The Laguna had electric adjustment on the driver's seat and different positions could be memorized. This was quite useful because when the car came back from being serviced by a gorilla, I just had to press a button to get the seat into my driving position. I also programmed an "after lunch, listening to the Archers mode" with the seat-back down.
One day I was returning from Kent on the M2 when the seat started moving erratically without any input from me. It went forward pushing me into the wheel, it went backwards and the seat back went down then up, and so it went on. I made the mistake of reaching down on the right to try to find the adjuster buttons. As I did so, the seat moved and trapped my hand between the seat and the door. So I was in deep merde, driving one-handed, leaning to the right, with no back support. I contemplated letting go of the wheel and opening the door with my left hand but decided that this was a tad risky. I also thought of the hard shoulder but luckily Farthing Corner services came into view and I juddered up the off-slip in top gear and came to a stop.
There was nothing down the side that could have interfered with the control buttons so I switched off and went for a cup of tea. When I switched back on, the seat resumed the correct position. When I reported this potentially dangerous incident to the Renault main dealer in Bury they allegedly ran some checks and found nothing wrong. I got the distinct impression that they thought that I had invented the whole thing. Nothing like it ever happened again but I never again felt entirely comfortable in the driving seat.
I frequently had spurious warning lights flashing and I very soon realized that this was always in wet weather or after I had used the windscreen washers. It seemed pretty obvious to me that water was finding its way into somewhere it didn't ought to be. Every time I reported this the dealer found nothing wrong. I think that by then I had been labelled a "troublemaker".
The other memorable incident happened late one bank holiday returning from the Suffolk coast with the family on board. Basically there was a lot of clattering up front, lots of lights came on briefly and the engine stopped. I found that the alternator drive belt and pulley were gone. The alternator shaft had fractured.I called the specified number and was told that it could be some time because it was a bank holiday and they were a bit busy.
An hour or two later, the local village blacksmith turned up in a clapped out Transit. He decided that it was a "rum ole do" but he offered one possible temporary "get you home" solution. He went off and some time later returned with an assortment of pulley wheels and belts, probably of Claas or Massey Ferguson origin. He also brought with him a mobile welder. Believe it or not, he managed to weld a pulley onto the stub of the alternator shaft without frying the alternator or the rest of the electrics and yes, we did get home.
I was very happy when I was able to return the Laguna, complete with a boot full of bits that had fallen off it. It's funny how these little things influence future choices. C'est la vie.
|
