Son-in-law thought it'd be a hilarious prank to put a piece of flimsy yellow paper printed with 'penalty charge notice' on my windscreen.
I haven't seen one for over twenty years, but was immediately suspicious (it wasn't in a plastic bag and had no council or company accreditation on it).
I can claim I never saw it, as it rained overnight.
How can I exact revenge?
I was thinking along the lines a a bailiff's letter, claiming ownership of his car. He's had it over five years and bought it off his dad!
I know he was breathalysed a few weeks ago (nil alcohol), perhaps a wind-up along the lines of 'the machine was faulty and we'll be around on Friday night to take another test'?
I'm sure you lot can come up with a few suggestions.
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Condom on the exhaust ? Black ribbed knobbly the best !
HO
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Get hold of his phone. In his contacts find the entry for you (or your wife) and change your name to his wife's name (your daughter I presume).
The next day text him when he is at work / in the pub / at the football and tell him that the police are at the house to speak about a faulty DD test machine and they'd like to come to the pub / office / football to speak to him.
The message'll come up as from his wife, yet any reply message he sends will come to you for you to reply to.
Last edited by: No FM2R on Sat 28 Dec 13 at 01:19
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Unless you can persuade someone here to come with a truck and haul his car away, bt, your ideal solution is a Denver Boot I would think... you can get one off the net but they're a bit dear. Perhaps a neighbour can lend you one for a good purpose like that?
Failing that a heavy steel chain through the front wheels with substantial padlocks, and an unmissable warning notice of course in case he tries to drive off in the dark... that'll learn him...
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Apparently a small ball bearing whacked up the exhaust and into the back box will drive anyone nuts with it's rattling.
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>>Condom on the exhaust ? Black ribbed knobbly the best !
French ticklers are quite good, I hear.
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>>Potato in the exhaust?
S'funny, that's the first thing that crossed my mind ... could blow a hole in the exhaust though!
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send a false NIP in the post.
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Private Eye small ads used to have a range of spoof embarrasing envelopes to send to people.
Things like "HMRC - Notice of Prosecution" and
"VD Clinic - Urgent Report".
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I sent a letter (franked the envelope at work too) to a colleague's home address about 15 years ago. It purpurted to be from HMC&E saying they had intercepted a package addressed to him from Amsterdam containing indecent material. He took it to the Police and to boss at work to prime him and deny any knowledge.
Then he phoned HMC&E and they said it was probably fake as they didn't recognise the reference number and asked him to fax a copy.
I felt like a cat on a hot tin roof for ~3 weeks.
Last edited by: sooty tailpipes on Sat 28 Dec 13 at 12:37
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In 1985 doing A levels, I met a lad and we became close friends. We both went to do a Foundation in Art in Tameside Tech College and with another girl and lad, we became a tight gang. We did everything together. Then it was time to choose a polytechnic, make you best portfolio and the dreaded interviews.
I have absolutely no idea why I did it (it was a long time ago), but I faked a letter from St Martin's School of Art using a typewriter and posted it on the last day of March so my friend would receive it on April Fool's day. His mam and dad opened the letter, offering an interview but the one and only slot was 4pm that day. It was total panic and chaos, running up and down the stairs, wondering how on earth they'd get to London in time.
It was another twenty minutes before one of them picked up the letter and read it right to the very end, where paragraph five mention the phrase 'wrecking crew' and several f-words. They were the most liberal parents I ever met, but I got one hell of rollicking when I next went around.
He went to Loughborough Uni in the end funnily enough, but he died in the early 90s, the other guy married that girl but she died three or four years ago. That hit me very hard, and I go and visit their parents whenever I can. I named my son after him. No regrets about the wind-up I just miss them. Aren't you supposed to live till your 80s?
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The possibilities are endless :)
Creating them as a mailshot for male incontinence pads, dating material, manhood enlargement devices etc etc. Or all of them. Depends how far you want to go.
Last edited by: Fullchat on Sat 28 Dec 13 at 22:20
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We're a devious lot!
Fullchat's suggestion got me thinking and I reckon a magazine, showing male, alternative sexuality clothing, delivered to his home address. Now who here would know such a source...........................................?
A few of my old Whitworth nuts and bolts could be finding their way into the silencers of cars parked on the pavement hereabouts.
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>> We're a devious lot!
>>
>> Fullchat's suggestion got me thinking and I reckon a magazine, showing male, alternative sexuality clothing,
>> delivered to his home address. Now who here would know such a source...........................................?
( puts on deep voice ) Not me mate
Last edited by: Zero on Sun 29 Dec 13 at 16:43
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>Creating them as a mailshot for male incontinence pads...
Our French master at school was a complete bar steward who was also the Head of Middle School. He seemed to enjoy handing out detention to certain individuals for the most trivial misdemeanor.
A group of us got our revenge by entering his name and address on a load of those ads you see in newspapers.
"Try the Acme WonderVac free for 21 days and if you're not delighted simply return it." FREEPOST 61234
"We're so confident of our hearing aid..." etc. etc.
He never knew who-dunnit but the crazy detentions dried up.
I must admit that he knew my character very well though. Weeks before our O-levels he called me back when leaving class, waited until everyone else had left, and then said "You'll never pass French O-level as long as you've got a hole in your 'arris. Now go."
I was gobsmacked but determined to prove him wrong, which I did. Crafty git!
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My class teacher told me I'd never amount to anything as long as I lived.
I was determined to prove him wrong, but never managed it.
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What my class teacher said to me was so significant I can't even remember their name, let alone what was said.
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Tim Martin (Weatherspoons) had a teacher in New Zealand called J.D. Weatherspoon who told Martin he would never make anything of himself.
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My Dad was a teacher - told Robert Palmer (when Palmer about 15/16) that he'd never make it as a singer and should get "a proper job"
They remained in contact and on good terms until Palmer's far too early death.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Palmer_(singer)
Saw Palmer many times in his early career as a teenager (one really memorable gig at Bridlington Spa when the Mandrakes were on same bill as The Who) - damned good rock singer but then he became a crooner - wasn't so keen on that.
He had same initials as Dad - RAW.
When at school we all knew him as Alan Palmer.
Sorry, going well OT
P
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Wind-up revenge - BobbyG
