Martin, I use Nokia Suite with my N95 on a daily basis and it has been absolutely magnificent. Indeed when I switched from my old phone to my new one I simply backed up the contents and then downloaded them. Couldn't have been simpler.
Some of the issues you describe may be down to SIM/Phone memory. I have all my info stored in phone only. Sometimes if same number is stored in both then only the number will be shown on the display.
But Nokia Suite works great for me, synching with Outlook contacts, calendars etc
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Nokia phone 
Nokia phone 