You could, sell the Porsche, buy a Panda 4x4 and, as a bonus, have loads of beer vouchers left over. It'd still look a bit, well, y'know, but you'd be having top fun. Alternatively, get a Duster, never wash it, again, have fun with it, and if anyone accused you of being a tightwad, you can just explain that you're from Yorkshire and its normal and acceptable behaviour there.
I'm more than possibly heading in one of those directions soon I think. Maybe...
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