I was stood in a queue of five folk at a supermarket checkout the other day with a big bag of dog biscuits, the woman behind me asked "do you have a dog as well"? I replied "no, but I'm going back on my dog-biscuit diet" You can't eat them"! she exclaimed, I replied "of course you can! they are complete nourishment! all you do is put a few in your pocket, and every time you feel peckish, just have a nibble". By now the whole queue was listening intently, so I continued, "last time I was on it for a month and I lost 3 stone, then I ended up in hospital". "Did you poison your self" she asked, I replied "no, I ran out into the road to sniff a labradors backside and got hit by a lorry" You should have seen her face!!
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